the story of betrayed

it's still the same case..

bell heard the story of betrayed & very 'tang ngor mm dai'. she asked me to blog about HER 'sui yeh' let everyone know about that (just like what emma asked me to do that time, to release my anger & indignation), haha..

ok, the story begins about 2 months ago when i supposed to find some models and promoter for the upcoming event for my company.

One day, i saw a girl that i know before appear in front of the glass door of my company. i was quite surprise. she accompanied her friend to come for the interview and asked whether or not she could have a chance to interview also. After getting the permission of my manager, she got the chance to interview.
i not sure what she said during the interview, but definitely she mentioned that she is my friend. (this is what-so-called 'yeng chan yeng cek'? is that she think that 'yeng chan yeng cek' like this will get more chance to get the job? ) why i know this? it's because after she left the office, my manager ask me about the person. i was so kind to not to say any bad thing about her, because i understand the courtesy of not to spoil other's career.
She was not suppose to get the job after the interview. however, we could not find enough people to work, so she would be the 3-day-promoter for the event.
Her attitude was not so good during the briefing and training session. She didn't pay attention to the trainer at all! i thought only me who noticed that, but no, others also noticed and my manager asked me to pay more attention to her during the days she work.
the day before the second training, she told me that her boyfriend's grandfather passed away, and she could not attend the training. ok, fine. i tried to arrange another day for her, but, the day before the training, again! at 11 something p.m 12 something a.m, she sms me, mentioned that she could not work and found a replace for me already. i called her and asked her to come the next day to show them the condition of her eyes and to apologize for can't work ( i thought this is what we all need to do if we have a good manner ) however, she just ignored what i said.
i tried to call her many times since that, but she didn't answer my call, no matter i used my own handphone or the company phone. then, i tried to ask someone else to get her to call me back. she was just ignore what the person asked her to do also. what is so difficult? we just need a medical cert ok?!! i thinks almost 1 month after the event, again, i called the person to get her. and after few hours, she came! with a friend! with 'cari pasal punya attitude'!
In the meeting room, that person, her friend, my manager and me were sitting there. she and her friend kept 'blaming' or maybe i can say that they complained me and tried to said something that is 'funny' to hurt me. she don't even want to say my name and not dare to look at me! (this is not the first time she did the similar things, i wonder why i am so stupid to treat her as a friend! and then, i gave her a chance to do something that i could not aspect! i never think that she is so bad until can go to other's company to spoil other's career! shit!!) ok, fine! i thought i am strong enough to accept all the weapons she threw on me! however, i noticed that i am not! sad, hurt, angry, disappointed, upset,...
tears finally dropped when i talked with emma on the phone on the way back from office. emma borrowed me an ear to listen to my mumble, cry, scold and laugh! yea, i was crazy that time!! lost control!! i almost want to kill the person already!
after reached home, straight entered the bath room and showered for 1 hour. actually i was not feeling well that few days, and after that, i got fever =.=

if i say that i am nothing now, i think nobody will believe it, even myself. however, i feel better after i get the concern+console+support from my dearest buddies. i am so happy to have all you gals & guys beside me, love you all so much!!

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lose vs get

today, i lost something, but at the same time, i get something that is more worth.

first of all, i would like to thanks to Miss Teoh, who came over my work place today and teach me some lessons.

1. Don't treat people too good
---> a story from a stupid girl who is so naive to believe that you treat a person very good, and the person will treat you good as well. However, the lesson teach us that we need to choose people to treat good.

2. There are always chances given, but sometimes, someone might not be appreciate it.
---> so, don't give too many chances to someone to hurt you! being hurt by a person for the first time is fine, second time is ok, third time is experience, and once you had been hurt by the same person for more than three times, it means that you are too stupid! Yes, i can't deny that i am so stupid.

3. Keep distance with the person who can simply hurt you.
---> the naive allice trust her friends, but someone can just simply hurt her for many times. To prevent from being hurt again, she is now learning to keep a distance with not only guy, but also girl!

4. Do not believe that a person can easily change her attitude to be good.
---> i thought she had change, i thought i treat her as my friend is right, i thought we are friends, i thought... yes, there is all 'i thought'. she is still the same girl that i know, or maybe worse.

5. Do not treat someone as a friend when she is not thinking that you are.
---> trust me! you will believe it if you treat someone nice but at last she still keeps hurting you.

6. 最毒婦人心
---> why suddenly i change to use chinese here? because this lesson is actually coming from chinese. i can believe that you know this phrase also if you watch hong kong drama. It means that the most harmful poison is the heart of ladies ( in cantonese : zoi tuk fu yan sam )

ok, talk back to the case just now. i lost a what-so-called friend (maybe she never think that i am); i lost my temper, and, i might lost my reputation in my company.

what i get?
1. the lessons that stated above.
2. an experience with a black dot that will always remind me about the case.
3. the trust & support of my managers.
4. the words that my manager told me in her office.
5. the support of my friend, yes, a real friend, emma.

thanks emma, after cried while talking with you, after talking to you, i feel better now.

as you said just now, this is not the first time 'she' act like this already, yea, i know, but last time i thought maybe that was our mistake/misunderstanding. now? no comment. after write all these out, feel much better. i'm trying to not to be sad of this, as you said just now, it's not worth. so, i will continue be HAPPY :D

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19/10/2008 ~my convo~

sorry to everyone that i delayed this blog until now.

not only no mood to blog, i am quite busy recently. (oops! don't ask me what i am busy with, because even myself also don't know what i am busy with right now)

many people keep chasing me for those photos of my convo, ok ok, as what i promised, i will try to send you guys by today or tomorrow. i will 'guai guai' stay at home these two days to prepare for it, be patience.

after 3 years of damn crazy life in serdang, i finally graduated from UPM!!

morning of 19 oct, 2 elder sisters and me went out to pick up laundry and buy brunch. We first went to pick up laundry then bought some foods here, after that, we went to subang, bought some breads, and some foods again! yeah! lots of things can eat.. haha..

then back home, bath, ate, and prepared to go out. It was quite rushing since many things not yet done. When Yul called me to tell me that the traffic quite jammed there, i still at home =.=
Luckily the traffic from sunway to serdang was smooth, so i managed to reach there at time. Yul introduced her parent and elvis's parent to my parent, so that 'penang lang' could sit together, it's better like that, haha..

Don't know why, i seems like 'yap zoi' ( married 入赘 ) to Yul's course already haha.. always join them..

after dad & mum them entered the hall, we walked to gather at the side of the hall. When i still talking with Yul + searching for my coursemates, i saw josephine. The stupid guard not allowed her to join us just because she wear pants!! what's a stupid logic!! (They did explain this case to media with the stupid reasons!! damn!!)

i walked into the group of my coursemates, and sure, we took pictures together with ying yin's camera. if i know we can bring camera, sure i won't leave it to mum! haih.. it was too late..

mm.. there were some of our coursemates absent : june, natasha, zoe, & i thought can see jasmine one, but she seems like enjoy her life in great britain, so didn't come to attend the convo.

In the hall, we just sitting there waiting our turn to go on the stage, bored!! Maybe our beloved UPM staffs know that we would be boring there, so they did something to make us laugh, hahaha.. They were using don't know what SLANG to call out our names.. it was very ''geli'' at first, and then, very funny, haha... and after that, i used to listen the weird slang already.
However, many people said that the MC called my name with the weird slang made them don't know that was me, =.=lll

after a long time i didn't present on the stage, so i walked very fast on the stage, and, everyone scold (not scold actually, it's just ''say'' me) about the time i was on the stage.. it's just a few seconds, not even 10 seconds!! haha..

Then, i received an sms from bpang. She mentioned that she got something to do so she couldn't come already. At first, i was thinking that she just kidding, but, it's truth! All of my buddies, no even a girl come! the attendances all guys!!

Thanks Danny who came from Penang just to attend my convo. i thought he was just kidding since he left message in our group there stated that he will 'fly' here. i really cant imagine how good he can treat me already! he really come to UPM! Oh my god!!
Danny, no need i say you also know that i am very touch right? but i also want to shout out --- i am very touch!! you stepped in KL again because of me, i really appreciate it, thank you very much, my best buddy forever..

Next, the gang of friends and buddies from Sungai Long : Lean Sheng, Lip Chin, Wei Chuan & Zhen Xiang. i know that some of you might have something to do or somewhere to go, but you guys chose to come here, i am so happy to see you guys here. Sorry for ignoring you guys sometimes when i RUN to take photos with my coursemates, housemates,... it's hard for me to explain how i feel that day, happy, proud, thanksful, touch,.. many.. cant explain via words..

Unexpected person called --> Chai Boi, she is one of my 6A2 friends also.. (some explanations: all of the guys who came that day are my 6A2 friends, danny, lean sheng, lip chin and wei chuan, only zhen xiang not jit sin ginna. however, we are all bm lang, wahaha..) ok, back to chai boi. she called me, asked for my location and asked me don't go away, wait for her there. wow! unexpected person came! thank you, chia boi, you no need to buy anything i already happy to see you there, you brought something for me somemore, thanks ya :)

if you know me better, especially my family members, relatives, then you must know how is the character of my dad! something happened! and suddenly our mood turned bad! rain somemore! shit!!

to thanks danny them to come, we plan to treat them eat, so i called lean sheng them to have dinner together. had no idea where to dine, so at last, we decide to dine at 'leong nga' paper wrapped chicken & yong tau fu there.

this was the first time i had dinner with my friends with all of my family together, don't know how everyone's feel, haha.. maybe the table is too big, too many people, i felt like i had paid less attention to people who sat too far from me.. i'm sorry about that, especially to LS.

after dinner, i gave a wrong direction to Sharon again, ya, AGAIN, so we had to take a long long journey to reach home. sorry sis :(

Sharon tried to took our pictures at home with her camera, but the batteries could not work, so end up we didn't take so much of pictures. you know what happened? i also don't know. i used to be in this kind of situation when eldest sister and dad being together for more than half an hour! sigh..

it was time for me to ''SS'' then. haha.. took pictures with all my lovely presents given by my buddies & sisters.
Oh ya, my sweet lovely younger sister, Chris, did something made me feel so touch also. She is very 'ngiau' （stingy）， but she spent a big sum of her money to buy a branded dress for me! To attend my convo, she went to do rebonding somemore. ya, my beloved Chris spent lots of money because of me.. touch! haha..

Thanks Danny and Zhen Xiang for the bouquet of flowers with snoopy.
Thanks 立竞、偉權、Mr. See, Chiew Li & May ying for the cute little bear.
Thanks 家媚for the present and the card with meaningful words you given.

Thanks my parents and lovely Chris coming over here to attend my convo..
Thanks Joyce coming back from Singapore to have a family gathering also..
Sharon, i know that you were very tired that few days, thanks you for everything you arranged and did..

there is one more person that i might not forget! a VIP! Anggeline! Thanks for the car that you borrow :)

ermm.. maybe can take this opportunity to thank everyone who sms or called me, appleships leng lui, leng lui may ying, uncle lock, aunty dan dan, yiap chong, ......

the photos all in my photo album now!!

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离轨/生活2

该怎么解释？突然像回到小时候那样，不是无忧无虑，而是缺乏安全感。

以前的梦想一个个离我而去，也许是我先选择放弃它们吧?! 现在只剩下的唯一一个，我真的可以在合约期满后潇洒地离开这里吗？我不懂。

这里还有我的家，我的责任。经济海啸，家里的经济状况，姐这里的经济困境，二姐又‘逃’到新加坡去，等等……
二姐当初是怎么做得到的？可以呆在家里那么久。我除了佩服，还是佩服。真的。说住跟家人可以省钱哦？谁说的？也许在别人家是这样子，可是在我们家就不是了。每个月花的钱，像水流那样，快，且一去不回头。
每次计划好要做什么买什么，可是，每次就会有什么状况，钱就这样子完了。以前我住沙登的时候生活都会好过这里呢！至少先要顾好的是自己，然后才轮到家人。可是现在，是这间屋子和姐先，然后才是自己。

爸妈过来的那几天最让我内疚，不单只没帮忙还钱，妈还塞钱给我，内疚、心疼……爱丽丝，窝囊废！！


不懂怎么了，越来越迟钝，做东西越来越慢，总是打不起精神来。工作除了状况，在最后关头，是我的错，还好在最后的最后关头，事情解决了。
前几天，又好像说错东西了，对其他两个同事，唉……我面对很大的沟通问题啊！人际关系有待改善！是该向卡内基学习了。

6A2的Group好像荒废了很久，都没有真真去打理了，是时候把这个group关了吧？反正每次什么gathering discussion都没什么人参与，来来去去就只有那两三只小猫，放弃咯！
连A1的蜜蜂都可以帮我们organise那个gathering了，我真的不明白为什么我们A2的人不能配合点。真的，不会再为A2做任何努力了。失望 + iNG!!


最近又开始暴饮暴食了，尤其是巧克力，吃得最凶了！天啊！肥了很多！每个人都“提醒”我这个事实！不要！我不要！都是二姐害的啦！带那么多巧克力过来给我！天知道我这个“大细路”多么喜欢巧克力，当然抵抗不住诱惑的嘛！

啊~~~~~~~
我到底再过怎样的生活啊？！
赶快一年，然后让我逃到哪个没人认识我的地方去吧！！

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离轨/生活

不知不觉，离开求学生涯已经有半年了，也已经正式上班两个月了。

签了卖身契，我会后悔吗？不会！当初我很肯定的告诉大家。可是，如果你现在问我这个问题，我或许会考虑了几秒才说——不会吧！至少我这里的同事们个个都很好，尤其是我的上司，大家都很好，只是工钱不是很好而已。是啊，回想起以前读书时候做的part time，很多时候都会比我现在这份工的工钱高！那时候还有钱可以帮补家里，可是现在呢？呵！觉得自己很没用哦！自己的毕业典礼，邀请家人过来，可是却在花两个姐姐的钱，而且，才那么两三天，花的钱都是算千的，根本自己几个月的工钱都不够还，每个月扣除那些乱七八糟的X费Y费，根本就没有什么钱剩了，那初还妄想可以给他们吃好住好，呵，太可笑了！！

一直以来都不敢给家人知道其实很多时候我的午餐只是饼干+美禄。一来是懒得出门，二是省，真的，为了圆那个梦，我必须做出这些小小的牺牲，其实是没什么的，你们不要担心我好吗？帮帮忙，别让我亲爱的家人知道，尤其是我大姐，她知道我常吃那块多两块的炒饭炒米粉的时候已经骂了，如果让她知道我只吃饼干+美禄，那还得了？！

现在的生活，每天就是睡醒做工放工睡觉睡醒做工放工睡觉……感觉好像一点意义都没有！想找些东西来学，可是，兴趣的都很贵，便宜的太远又太夜，真的不懂可以做什么了，义工，找到的是要去我不会搭公共交通去的地方，没有做工的拜六礼拜真得就这样跟他们一起这样没有意义地度过吗？其实还想继续做那份part time的，可是好像不是很好似的，毕竟我现在的公司是……唉……

是不是所有做工的人都是这样子过日子的？生活是不是这样没意义的？为了每个月那根本不够用的工钱而奉献出自己75%的时间，剩下呢可怜的25%奉献给家人，给睡眠，给……

根本不曾想过会有现在这样的生活！现在的自己已经开始慢慢偏离预先设定的轨道了，还好我知道的目的地在哪里，所以，那个属于我自己小小的梦，我一定要在这一两年里面圆了它！说我任性也好，自私也罢，就算有人说我白痴我也都认了，我就是要做那件事！我就是要浪费我最少半年的时间在这件事上！我爱这样又如何？！因为责任，我不能一生都这样，那么，给我少少的一年半载不过分吧？！

~最近一直在重复播着Hero这首歌，想要借助它的力量让离轨的自己找回目的地的方向~

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août

août 2008, c'est un point de nouveau départ..

j'ai trouvé un emploi en ville de mi-combe. je suis maintenant une assistante de marque.

je voudrai prendre un an ici pour étudier quelque chose que je n'étudie pas dans l'université à propos de commercial. ensuite, si j'aime le travail, j'espère que je peux continuer ma carrière ici. si non, j'espère que je peux étudier à l'étranger afin que je pourrai commencer une nouvelle orientation dans ma vie.

il y a plus de un mois que je travaille ici. tout le monde continues poser une même question, et je essayais de répondre à tout la question --> ça va bien. ma responsable de marque, mon directeur, ma directrice, mes collègues, tous, sont gentil. à ce moment, j'aime mon travail, bien que mon salaire est très peu.

est-ce que je peux survis avec le petit salaire?
je sais que c'est difficile pour survivre. je dois travailler un travail à temps partiel. mais, à propos de contrat de un an, je ne regratte rien. peut-être, j'ai un rêve, et je sais que ce travail pourrai m'aider beaucoup.

oui, mon rêve m'efforce pour passer les durs, il pourrai m'attache à réussir.

je me transformée en papillon bientôt
et ensuite, je veux voler vers l'arc-en-ciel!!

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916 2008

today is 916.. thought what will happen here.. but nothing..

wake up early in the morning, look at the sky.. hmm.. nothing different.. the sky is still blue.. there is still white cloud in the sky.. and the sun is still there also.. there is no any change in the sky..

take earlier bus so that i won't stuck in heavy traffic jam if there is any road block.. you know what? last time when i worked for TK, when some similar cases happened, our 'beloved' policemen like to close the road from 4 lanes become 1 lane, made the traffic on highway slow like tortoise!! however, the traffic today is damn smooth! unbelievable..

ok, then, reach office, my manager tell us a news --> the event had been delayed.. i don't know this can consider a good news or bad news.. my manager spent lots of time to prepare for it, and, the company also spent money on the event already, the printing of the tickets, booking for the hotel,... haiz.. i don't know how she feel, but if i am at the position, when i organise an event, busy for all those things for months, but in the end, decide to delay (cancel? or delay? not sure..) then i will be sad..

afternoon, the sky is still the same.. nothing different.. didn't get any news from others.. anwar seems like so confidence.. what i hope now is, no matter how it goes, the politics here, i just hope that all malysians can live peacefully and stay happily.. hope this is not only a dream :) peace

leave the office around 8.30pm, the road is damn quiet! it's totally different from normal day.. is that because everyone rush back home to watch/listen/read, to follow up the latest news? or maybe because of the safety? or, this is just an excuse to not to go out? who knows?!

back home, no mood to follow up the news, blogging and going to sleep very soon..

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916?

i wonder.. is that the sky really will change tomorrow?

i not really understand all those political issues, and don't like also!
remember last time when we were in primary school, i read something in our textbook-- our country is a good country that the citizens coming from different races but still can live peacefully..
i was believed it before.. but what happened after that? case 513? case kampung medan? and now? what is the meaning by 'Orang Cina cuma tumpang di sini sahaja.' (The Chinese are only squatting here)??
and the other hand, what happened? the taiwan trip? the 916? what else coming soon?

i don't know what happened to the country. i don't understand why it become like this. is that because of 'the name', 'the $$' and 'the power'? but why? why want to make the country so unstable? is that too hard to let us to have a harmony country? is that a dream that is so hard to reach?

peace please..

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happy mooncake festival

today is mooncake festival or also called as mid autumn. it’s raining here, made me feel sleepy ;) hehe..

stay at home whole day and flash back the happy moment with you girls.. it was a year ago.. we just moved in to our heaven..

the crazy girls and guys with some crazy act left an unforgettable memory for me.. yeah! girls and guys, without you all, i don’t think that i dare to do all those crazy things :) always, there is happy moment with some crazy act.. and i will keep the happy memory in my heart.. because i don’t know when i have a change to crazy like that again..

especially my lovely yul, bell and wen, thanks you girls for everything.. love you girls always.. this year, we can’t celebrate the festival together, don’t know how you girls celebrate, hopefully it’s happy moment for you girls too.. auntie and lou kuan don’t know how? don’t know the juniors there got crazy like us or not? i think auntie and lou kuan sure miss us very much.. (since we are so sweet, so cute, so noisy, so, so special.. hehe..)

happy mooncake festival to everyone here!!

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宅女

感觉好像很久没有更新我的部落格了哦？对不起啦！开始做工过后就开始忙了，不能像以前那样天天blog了，时间不够用啊！！
上个月开始，生活有了很大的转变。开始做工了，不能像以前那样天亮才睡了，现在天还未亮就要醒了，感觉好像很凄凉似的（其实是健康啦-.-）
以前的生活就是睡觉第一，睡不醒可以不去上课；可是现在不行了，所以很早就要睡了，其实也不是很早就要睡啦，通常是不小心睡着的，抱着宝贝laptop，灯也亮着的，就这样睡着了，结果常被姐姐骂:( 我也不想的嘛！
我现在的生活其实蛮有规律的，迫不得已啊！呵呵……

--一天的开始--
听到闹钟响 --> 按snooze --> 赖床
--> 第二次听到闹钟响 --> 同样，按snooze --> 继续赖床
--> 第三次 --> 心不甘情不愿地睁开小小的双眼 --> 起床
--> 开灯--> 走出房门 --> 打开冰箱 --> 拿出牛奶
--> 去厨房 --> 把牛奶倒进杯里 --> 放进微波炉‘叮’
--> 把剩下的牛奶放回冰箱
--> 进浴室 --> 刷牙洗脸冲凉 --> make-up
--> 喝牛奶,有时间的话还有早餐吃
--> 出门 --> 晨运（要走十到十几分钟的路嘛）--> 等巴士 --> 挤巴士
--> 到公司 --> 开始做工
--> 放工 --> 回家/晚餐 --> 晚餐/回家
--> 开电脑 --> check mail --> 冲凉 --> 看朋友的blog -->
不小心睡着……
--一天结束--

每天重复这样的生活，直到拜六礼拜。勤劳的话就打工，或者和jessy出去，不然就躲在家当宅女。对哦！我最近好像蛮喜欢宅女的生活的，感觉蛮不错的……

1.该怎么说呢？也许钱真得不够用吧！出门要用到钱啊！那么，为什么不干脆躲在家算了？
2.也许还有点在意吧！我是那种很容易就得罪人的人，往往得罪人了我都还不知道的那种，所以，少出门，少得罪人咯！
3.开始做工过后，好像特别累，没做工的时间，没什么特别日子，还是呆在家休息比较好吧！
4.不出门，不用怕风吹雨打，不用怕太阳，不用吸进太多废气……
5.最近天灾人祸太多了，家里比较有安全感 （你还要掰噢？）
6.916要到了啊！在家就不用怕咯，呵呵 =.=
7.家里的ah girl最近好像病了，他的胃口变小了，又常哭，所以我要在家陪它。 （继续掰啊！）
8.在家，不用伪装自己，不管是外表还是内在。

如果有一天，爱丽丝成为真正的宅女，也许，是一件蛮不错的事，对吧？

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