你不知道的事

这样的天气，
这样的心情，
听着one fm播放王力宏的需要人陪，
406天后，再次见到你，
却没有机会跟你说出我的心底话，
没有机会告诉你
我有多想你，
打开那个给你的部落格，
简短地写下几个字，
重看之前写过的东西，
鼻子酸酸的，
也许就像部落格的标题那样，
这些都是
你不知道的事……

allice tan

WL day

totally no mood to work!
whole day being fai chai on the net, twitter, plurk & FB..

not because of my manger on leave.. it's because she throw too much on things on me..
everytime when she on leave, she will definitely list down a 2 pages of task for me to complete! and i know that i will definitely cannot finish all the task in the list.  y? besides the task she list down, i still have other task to complete! 物极必反！ she dunno that she will make me moody to work all the things out.

i already try my best to brain-washed myself to work hard in this company. i thought everything will be smooth this year. i really try to change my mindset. i try to adopt to this environment. try to be used with this kind of culture. but why everytime also because of her. turn all my positive down?

really no mood to work today. WL + i.N.G...

allice tan

放不下

那时，看到你post的 “我放不下......” 这几个字，心里揪了一下。
你说 “你心里想的歌——你不知道的事”。

很多东西，其实可以很简单，也可以很复杂。
想要简简单单地过，可是，我的脑、我的心，却会把事情想得很复杂。
女人，呵，非常没有安全感的女人。

我就是喜欢跟你唱反调，就是那么皮，怎样？
你喜欢我长头发，我就偏要把头发剪短，虽然有点舍不得；
你送我的狗狗，虽然心里有点感动，有点甜，我偏要说我不喜欢公仔，哼！
知道你会担心，我就是不告诉你我究竟怎么了。

如果你真的了解我，如果你真的对我有那一份关心、那一点爱，
你应该明白这是因为我的刺猬个性在作怪。

可是算了！
你不会明白为什么我急着下车，为什么我不和你好好聊一聊！
你永远都不会明白。

也许，我要的结局已经到来。
当你的那一句话，让我刚结疤的心再次淌血……
“做不成一辈子的情人，我还希望做你一辈子的朋友”

对自己说，不可以再落泪，可是，泪还是不听话的掉下。
告诉自己，这是最好的结果了，虽然，心有点痛。
可是爱丽丝，这是你的选择，你没什么好怨的。
祝福他，祝福她，祝福你自己，大家都会幸福的……

allice tan

你不知道的事

我。还是。很。在意。

不想。对号入座。
可是。偏偏。

心。就是。那么。痛。

allice tan

星星消失了..

如果月亮聽到星星的情話,
也許星星就不會突然消失..
如果星星沒有愛上月亮,
她應該會無憂無慮地在夜空飛舞吧..
奈何,她遇見了月亮,
遇到了愛情..
在得不到月亮的回應下,
她選擇了離開..
跟隨淚滴, 化作流星, 消失在夜空..

allice tan

at Bee-aM

on leave for a week.
and now at home @ BM.

allice tan

gonna be scolded by buddies

i know! they definitely will do so. because of my stupid & my stubborn & my 一意孤行..

i left my signature on the contract.. yup, i renewed my contract with the company..

when cuz asked me why, i said that i have to face the truth.. and.. maybe, i had been brain washed.. and only J know the real reason.. only she will understand why i made this decision..

No sacrifice, no victory.

i do believe so..

guys, i know you all have no more energy to 'say' me already, just pray for me and wish me luck la!
especially LS, still remember the phrase -- No sacrifice, no victory. this is what you told me. so you have to support me no matter how :p

allice tan

我不難過

read a post on FB shared by my darling's friend..

难过了，不要告诉别人
难过了，静静的蹲下来抱着自己，让眼泪尽情的洒落
难过了，拿着镜子看看此刻的自己，让真实浮现眼前
难过了，默默的将自己隐藏起来，让空虚掩盖一切
难过了，闭眼倾听周围的声音，让自己沉浸在喧嚣中
难过了，不必告诉别人，自己的悲伤为何要别人也承担呢
难过了，可以假装快乐，和别人一起兴奋时就能遗忘了自己

难过了，仍然安慰别的伤心者，你会发现自己也在受益，当局者迷而已
有谁不曾难过
有谁还会记得
过去的不再从来
又何必去苦想
忘掉…
用微笑渲泄悲伤

and it made me recall of a song by stephanie sun yanzi

我不難過　這不算什麼　只是為什麼眼淚會流我也不懂

i always tell them don't worry, no need to care, no need to mind..
but, i mind! i really mind! f*cking mind!!


i not sure if i can perfectly cover it with my smile everytime when talking about the case..
not sure if yo, nt, hl, eg, mw, jy & whoever know about the case, found my real feeling when we talked about it.. what i wanna say is.. do not expose my mask, please..

我不難過 i am not sad..

allice tan

tired

feel tired recently.

no matter how many hours i sleep a night, i still feel that i have not enough sleep, even i change my sleeping time earlier to 10sth pm.

ya, rarely online at night. hence, the active TSL in FB seems like going to disappear. no more 'i.N.G.' appear in your FB homepage, as my status message could stay for 1 week unchanged.

heart is so tired after the pain. i could say nothing on this because this is the consequence of my stubbornness! i should listen to EH's advice, but i didn't. however, if i say that i have no regret on it, do you believe? if there's another chance for me to choose, i will still make the same decision to try. ok, this is me, the stubborn me, i never deny.

brain was the most pity part as it has to think of many things.

a good friend who i really treat with heart, has blocked me on her FB and MSN. i don't know how to describe my feel now, but this is her choice, i have to respect. someone asked me to ask her, but, sorry, my face is not thick enough, and i will not use my hot face to stick her cold buttock! (a phrase translated from chinese) i lost a good friend.

i will divorce end of July. Looking for a new job at the same time upgrading myself by taking some courses, although my financial status is not so stable yet. Was dilemma that time when my 'head' asked me to re-consider, and told me that i can take the course as part time, yea, sure the courses i will take is part time course! i need to have a job for survive, but i think my future is not there, a company with kind bosses and colleagues, where they always try to protect us, treat us like their kids. they don't know that kids need to fall down sometimes, then only know how to walk.

when everyone ask me whether i found a new job yet, my answer is i not really start my job searching. i have earlier sent my resume to a company at mid valley and went for interviews, and i found that i am really... really need to grow up!!

august is coming soon. joyce asked me to go home for a small rest at the same time accompany dad & mum for 1 or 2 weeks then only start with my new job if i found. her suggestion is to search at penang as i no need to worry about transport there because her SLK is there. or another choice, i can go to SG, can stay with her.but i am still waiting for the date to the new courses start.

actually plan to take MBA at UM, but the qualification is 3 years working experience after graduate. maybe, i can wait for another year??

my brain is busy with all this kind of nonsense!
worry this worry that, fan this fan that!
so funny! i want to stop it, but it seems like i cannot control myself to stop thinking.

luckily, i found a secret to make myself better and it works!!
thanks god! i am now driving my life to somewhere nice and colourful, although the sky is still dark, but don't forget that every car has its own lights!!

p(^.^)q

allice tan

如果他真的愛妳

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他冷落妳不會超過三天，
因為想念妳的日子很難度過 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會給妳一個甜蜜的稱呼，
只屬於他一個人喊的稱呼 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，會令你溶入他的生活，
決不會相愛多年後，還讓妳妾身未明 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會把妳當孩子般寵愛，
但是自己又說不出寵妳的原因…

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳開心快樂，
捨不得讓妳流淚 ..

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機會24小時為妳開機，
隨時隨地讓妳能夠找到他 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會覺得妳是最好的，
不會將妳和其他女人做比較，即便妳並不優秀 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會抽出時間來陪妳，
即使自己真的很忙，因為他看不見妳會很想妳.....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他不會要求妳減肥，
因為他把妳的身體健康看作第一位 .........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會很想和妳生活在一起，
會把妳看成是生命中最重要的 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會經常緊緊地抱著妳，
讓妳感受他的心跳 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會在妳睡著的時候輕輕吻妳，
因為妳是他的天使 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳買妳喜歡的東西，
並且很高興陪妳逛街 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會對妳的家人、朋友都很好，
喜歡融入到他們當中 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會默默地為妳付出一切，
但很少讓妳知道他所做的犧牲 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會看妳吃飯的時候傻笑，
然後把好吃都留給妳吃…

如果一個男人愛妳，他會不厭其煩提醒妳吃飯，穿衣服，
聽妳說「煩了」，他還是要提醒妳，因為妳是他的一切

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會記住妳說的每句話，
哪怕是一句小玩笑，他也會放心�。
然後努力改變自己的生活習慣。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，在妳過馬路的時候會拉著妳的手，
怕妳橫衝直撞出什麼事，所以不要甩開他的手。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機�都是關於妳的東西，
想妳的時候會對著手機傻笑，

妳是他最美好的幸福 ...