dilemma

don't know how to make the decision..

if there is really a time for me to make a decision, what should i choose?

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mother's day is coming

i'm going back home this friday after work, yippie..

mother's day on sunday, but i have to back kl on sunday.. so.. maybe i can only celebrate with mum on saturday night.. where to treat them eat? erm.. don't know yet.. any suggestion?

oh ya! heard that mum want to eat sugee cake.. does anyone know where got sell this sugee cake in bm/penang? i tried to search online, but not really get the result.. sorry that i don't even know how this sugee cake taste like, so i can't bake it myself also :( if anyone know, please do tell me so that i can order earlier.. thanks..

going back home in few days later.. guys. if wanna date me, please make appointment earlier ya.. hahaha...




cheers,
lucky princess -> aLLice ^^

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appreciation

this is the theme of my company 7th anniversary dinner..
it's really a good theme that remind me on something very important..

there are something very bad happened on me past few weeks..
my sister's car knocked by a motor, someone stole her purse in a home party, money gone, my plan failed, met some problems on work, had been fooled by someone...

and, i found that my friends are here with me, especially my ji mui ❤ yul ❤, yew and badguy..

yul came to find me that time when i faced a big problem. i was almost going to cry that time.. she came with green river, and accompany me at the swimming pool there..
yul, you know what? i really can't breath that evening.. if you didn't come, i think i might just tear alone beside the swimming pool.. sometimes, i really feel that, i'm very useless.. i'm the kind of strawberry girl.. i really appreciate how you treat me as a ji mui.. your concern, your care, your ❤, everything.. i know that you have your own problem also, but your willingness to help & support me is really touched my heart deeply & left a scar on my heart.. i won't forget how good you treat me..
thanks yul, i love you so much ^^

badguy, is not really a badguy.. he is someone who is willing to help me when i need help.. without asking so much, he just helped me in a moment once i called him.. yea, he didn't ask for the reason & rewards, he is such a good guy but not a badguy as his nick..
badguy, i really appreciate what you did, thank you so much for everything you do..

and.. i don't know how to say about yew.. nothing much can say.. i really appreciate what this guy do.. thanks guy!

mm.. still got ying yin.. she went japan & bought me little souvenirs.. like those cute little souvenir.. and not only like this lah.. she is really a very nice friend.. still remember the time i still very blur in university, she did help a lot.. treat me so good..

there is someone always worry me when i take bus home at night.. she feels that is not safe when i need to walk home so late in the dark and unsafe 10 minutes plus plus distance.. she always wait me at mid valley to send me home if possible.. and.. she always bring me here and there.. eat lots of delicious food (without paying sometimes, hehe..).. her friends all think that we are lesbian.. haha.. we are too close until others misunderstand.. ;) there's no other people else except jessy..

nicole, the one who had a big arguement with me many years ago, and we didn't talk with each other for a quite long time, then even we talk also not so much, not really keep in touch for few years.. and now.. we do give each and other very big support in the very moment.. our care & concern to each other, our support & help.. everything.. worth to not to let this kind of friend go..

actually i'm so so so lucky to have friends & buddies like you guys, yul, may ying, nathalie, badguy, lip chin, danny, zhen xiang, jessy, nicole,......

next,
my dearest manager, who is too kind and made me feel like i'm a devil :p
she treat everyone of us very nice, care of us, support us.. when i did mistakes, she is always there to help me to 'ku bou'.. and she made my tears want to fall when she said '' don't worry, i will meh the wok '' oh my god! i've never meet someone like her.. every mistake i did, she help me to solve, even the things not yet happened, she already notice what i worry, and console me.. and she really help me to meh the wok.. feel guilty & useless.. why i got this kind of manager in this company? made me feel that i'm just a little kids & she is here to protect me always..
adrienne, sorry that i always bring you trouble.. i feel very thankful to have you as my 'head'.. thank you very much ❤

bibi, she is my 'neighbour' in office.. she is very naive sometime.. she can help us in many things.. '' mm sai gen, bibi hai dai teng " this is how she show her willingness to help me and she really helped me a lot.. i like her so much.. like to have this cute girl in the office, like to hangout with her, sing k,...

howard is the one made me feel guilty.. obviously, i had mistake also, but he still mentioned that not my fault, maybe to console me, wanna made me not to feel guilty.. and this made me more guilty.. when i said sorry, you know what he replied? 'gila' haha.. damn kind lah this guy..

my boss.. give us many chances to learn.. still remember that time he asked me to do something which i never do before, i was quite worry that i would do wrong.. and he said.. nevermind, you try first, if wrong only amend.. just waste a small amount of money and you can learn, worth.. and what he told me when i appoloziged for my failure to do something past few day --> learn as you grow.. have fun during this stage..

mr caesar ee, a poor guy.. always disturb him, ask him to amend this amend that, until he scare me, haha.. last week, i faced a big problem, he said that he would help me to 'gao dim' and he really helped me to solve the problem.. thanks caesar :)

still remember in july 2008, that most of my friends advised me to not to work here because of the contract and low salary.. i was dilemma in making decision.. i scared i can't stand for 1 year.. i worried that i can't handle the job.. but i feel that i would like the job.. and sister said that i might go to try.. so.. i decide to sign the contract and start my first (and ever) job :) i'm damn lucky to work here..

i love 'god' so much.. he treat me very very good.. he send lots of nice friends beside me.. give me a chance to work in such good company.. and definately, i love him so so so so much becauce he let me born in this family..

my mum.. an angel.. a pity angel maybe.. always bullied by SOMEONEsss.. she sacrify many things for this family.. thanks is not even enough to show how i appreciate..

and my 3 pretty sisters.. i love them so much.. although we have querrel sometimes.. but we care each and other so much.. the support & help we give or given to us is uncountable.. no matter in what mathode.. our reunion to fight 'devil' to help 'angel'... everything.. a family..

god is really kind to me.. too kind.. he gives me light when i am in dark.. he shows me the way to chase the rainbow when he knows where my dream is..

i feel like i'm a little princess and i'm now on my way to chase the rainbow in my life..



cheers,
aLLice, the lucky princess ^.~

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l'arc-en-ciel, i'm coming!!

yoyoyo!! after so many black fridays, finally good friday came!! everything is over.. ^^

me, come back to someone you know, the gal who is cute + attractive lol :p
or maybe FUNNY which is describe by natacha.. haha.. i just noticed that i gave her the impression like this, which can be use the word 'funny' to describe.. no matter the funny here is good or bad, i'm now back!!

raindrops can hurt me, but can't kill me! the rain gives me the reason to be strong & i'm stronger now! (with the bloody heart of devil??) i always believe that sun will shine after rain. i had been waiting for quite long time, and the sun started to shine again after a long heavy rain.. everything is over.. the grey sky no longer dark.. it's bright & brighten my future ^^

i'm happy to see the sunshine. and i will be more happy if i can see the rainbow, feel the rainbow & touch the rainbow.. i believe that i will reach there, where rainbow is, one day.. yeah! definately i will reach there because the rain is gone, the sunshine will show me the way toward the rainbow..

dear all,
once i reach there, i will bring you guys the colour of the rainbow to fill in your life, especially those life with just black & white + grey..
or.. you want to go with me?
let's chase the dreams together!!

aza aza aza p(^.^)q

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something i've forgot

read a book named 'Best Wishes' yesterday..

it had been quite some times i didn't shop for books. after watching the video of 'The Secret', i decided to buy the book. MPH sells it for RM79++ if not mistaken. i wanted to buy it, but due to some reasons (what else reason? sure is $ lah) i didn't buy it. Thursday night went Pyramid & bought the cheap version after work. Not only bought 'The Secret', i bought another 2 books which are 'Best Wishes' & 'The Twelfth Angel'.

opps.. i can't control myself to buy those books even though i not yet finish my Rich Dad's collection!! and i still have the book borrowed from my company library.
(Now, i finished the book 'Best Wished', but not yet finish 'The Secret'.. not even half.. sigh..)

Ok, talk back to the topic.

Time flies.. and i've slowly grow up & changed.. Sometimes, i pretend to forget something to make myself in 'the group'.. Sometimes, i choose to scarify something so that i can be someone else.. Days after days.. i forgot what is the real and what is fake!

1
'who i am?'
the answer could be aLLice, aLicia, ice, Ling, Xiao Ling,... but the door won't accept these kind of answer.. i am a 24-year-old gal who lost in the maze? same, the door won't accept the answer as well.. so 'who am i?'
the answer could be --> i am me, myself, someone i want to be!!

2
Bank of Love
when is the last time i hug someone? is that really so hard to give someone a warm sincere hug? actually the main point is not the hug, the hug is only one of the way to show LOVE.. do i share my love with my friends? family? someone who worth to get? someone who need? or maybe your enimies?

3
without dream = dead person
dream is something important in our life. someone without dream is a living corpse 活死人.
and my dream during my childhood, i totally forgot about it. i'm trying so hard to find back what is my first dream, and i couldn't recall! although i can't remember now, i know that i'll find it out one day.. and luckily i'm not a 100% living corpse, i still have my other dreams ^.~

4
spring cleaning
this is something i really need to do often. i need to clean all those 'dirt' in my heart often. erm.. what is the 'dirt'? it might be some thinking, opinion, or maybe misunderstanding, impression of someone,...

5.
why obstacle appears when we are on the way to chase our dreams?
most of the time, obstacle is actually something that create by ourselves. the fear, maybe, we scare that our dreams come true easily, we not yet ready to accept the gift from the lord, that's why we create the obstacle.

6.
:)
recently, i fall in love with a song from mayday -- you are not really happy. someone dedicated this song to me because of the meaning/lyric. ''you are not really happy, your smile is only your cover/protection...''
i choose 'smile/laugh' as one of my 'hobby' many years ago when i was still young. i know the power of it. so i learn & pretend. sometimes, i could even cheat myself, so what do you think? i'm fake? don't know.. what i know is.. there's only someone who know me for years, know me very well, always know when i smile/laugh from heart.

7.
lost
time flies. i know that i lost something, but what is the 'something' actually, i can't give you the answer. i spent too long time to find the thing i lost, too long time, long until i forgot what i lost actually.. maybe myself i think..

8.
opps.. so fast reach 8th point already.. there's still lots of points i wanna add, but time is not allow, so i simply drop down some of the points.. if you want to know more, please go to find the book & read it.

>> no matter how small the window is, the sky is still big
>> we walk so far to find happiness, but happiness is actually just beside us
>> smile is a medicine to cure the troublesome
>> unless you found the reason to wake up every morning, or else you are not really alive
>> your past write the script of your future, you create what you believed in past
>> fear is a chance
>> fear is a way which can help you to find out what you want to find
>> the life of butterfly is only 24 hours, so it must know where it should fly toward
>> happy is a way but not a destination

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no title

i just type out what in my mind now.. what to describe my brain now? it's bird nest maybe.. very 'zap' (za2 luan4 wu2 zang1)
before continue, what i wanna say is --> if you not understand what i say, then you may just ignore..


life :
'no streamyx no life' was a slogan that i used when i newly moved to be auntie's neighbour.. and now only i realized that 'no lappie no life'.. it had been 1 month ++ that my baby in coma mode. although i can use sis's lappie after work, but it's not mine, the feel is totally different. i miss my lappie very much!!

work :
i thought i enjoy what i'm doing now.. yeah! i am.. if nothing happened.. i now only understand why B & V don't want to talk so much in front of the guy.. i admit that i'm devil. so.. i think he would be a GHOST! when he said those things to my 'beloved' manager in front of me, i didn't explain anything.. again.. my reputation dropped.. someone asked me why i don't want to clarifiy, why i don't want to tell her the whole story.. what you say? others might think that explanation is just an excuse.. i believe that 'cheng jei ji cheng'.. no point if you don't believe me and i keep explaining to clarify.. and if you trust me, then i no need to explain you also will believe me, right?
in Facebook, sis & anggeline mentioned, must know how to avoid or be spontenous & intelligent when communicate with others, "see people speak people language, see ghost speak ghost language'', dont give any chance to backstab me! so.. maybe i can try to be mute to reduce the chances of being backstab..

friend :
feel guilty to those friends such as the 6A2 gang members whose convo just passed and i did not attent; the gang which we supposed to go genting together but due to some reasons i cannot go; jessy about the last night cases yang mempersiasuikan & men-worry-kan; wei tat about his birthday party, yew about....

family :
cannot help anything even i know the problems.. mum, sis, everyone's problem that i cannot help..
heard that grandpa was in hospital again because asthma.. hopefully he won't be bullied and sent to hospital again..

money money :
most most most important point! haha..
money never enough!!!

dream :
the volunteer dream is that still can achieve? i wonder..

huu... many things still not yet finish.. many plan still not yet start on.. my life is like in the hell now.. so i transform myself to be a bloody devil [地獄來の血腥惡魔女] so that the life in hell won't be too bad for me! and maybe i can enjoy the life like this ^.~

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丢了翅膀的天使

...丢了翅膀，他仍是天使


read this story quite some times ago..
Re-read this just now when i checked my msn mail.. although this is not the first time i read, tears still can't stop dropping.. it's really a good touching story that made me cry everytime i read...

当在外地出差的我坐飞机赶回来时，十个月的儿子新新已经被推出抢救室。医生说持续的高烧也许损伤了脑神经，我要有心理准备接受可能的后遗症。
　 　老公两天后才从国外回来。出院后，我们常常测试新新的听力和视觉，没有发现任何异常。我们终于放下忐忑的心。可渐渐地，我发现他开始瞪着无神的眼睛发 呆，或者呈现一种令我不安的笑容。当和新新一般大的孩子开始迈着步子，清脆地喊着爸爸妈妈的时候，新新依旧呆呆坐在那里，傻傻地笑着。抱着他四处求医，结 论同出一辙：新新的智力将会停留在幼儿期，除非发生奇迹。
　　那是段痛不欲生的日子，抱着孩子寻找各种可能的奇迹，秘方、偏方，甚至针灸。那长长的针如同刺在我的心尖，汗和泪伴着孩子凄厉的哭声一起落下。我多么希望这只是一场梦，梦醒后充满灵气的新新在对我甜甜地笑。我开始幻听，总感觉新新在喊妈妈。
　　我深深自责为了事业没有照顾好儿子，却不敢留在家里面对。每天下班后沉默地搂着他，日复一日，泪流尽了，心也似乎麻木了。老公也因为家里气氛沉闷，渐渐变得很少回家吃饭。
　　婆婆来看我们，说把新新带走，让我们再要一个孩子。我不假思索断然拒绝，我不能那样做!他没有选择地来到这个世界，又因为我的疏忽变成这样，已经够不幸了!把新新紧紧搂在怀里，我不要别人分享对他的爱！

　　2
新新两周岁生日那天，我才惊觉老公已经不再陪我们一起吃饭了，怕失去他的恐慌开始噬咬着我，使我觉得难以呼吸。直至深夜，一身酒气踉踉跄跄的老公才踏进家门，我已经荒芜的泪水终于又奔涌出来。老婆，我们再要一个孩子好吗?我狠狠点着头，与他紧紧相拥，抵死缠绵……
我又怀孕了！抚着逐渐隆起的小腹，有些苦涩的甜蜜。我仿佛比谁都期待这个孩子，却又在内心里抗拒这个孩子。看到新新向我伸来的手臂，我的心又涌起巨大的痛楚：新新，这个世界，除了妈妈谁还能爱你!
　　我终于下定决心打掉这个孩子，可检查结果使我震惊：我竟然怀了双胞胎！
　　2002年 的夏天，一对漂亮的小女孩阳阳和月月降临了。满月以后，那对粉雕玉琢的小人，总是甜甜地笑，很少哭闹。只要我一说话，头就随着我的声音转，让我充分享受到 做妈妈的喜悦。我已经顾不上新新，无论我多么约束自己，潜意识里我已经开始忽略新新，只把他交给保姆，甚至开始讨厌他那傻傻的样子。
　 　转眼，阳阳和月月会走了。新新一般不注意什么，只是对这两个妹妹格外敏感，常常注视她们的一举一动，似乎带着极大的兴趣，而且不同于平时的眼神。我是不 允许他接近她们的，他只能那样在一边望着，可我控制不住阳阳和月月蹒跚迈向新新的脚步，她们同样对新新表现出极大的兴趣。而我却舍不得强迫她们什么，只是 一次又一次严厉地对新新说，记住，不许碰妹妹!不许碰妹妹！渐渐地，他对我有了怯意，我却丝毫没觉得有何不妥。
　　一天，孩子们在午睡，保姆出去买菜，我去储物间整理衣物。突然听到孩子的哭声，我连忙跑进卧室，看到新新正从床的栏杆间缝向外拉月月的两根手指，手指被卡住，新新还在用力向外拉。我一把拉过新新，照着他的手，狠狠拍打，不是告诉你不许碰妹妹，不许碰妹妹吗!看你以后还碰不碰妹妹!我越打越生气，似乎在发泄对他积累的厌恶。我疯了似的寻找可以用来打他的东西，直到看见镜子里自己魔鬼一样的脸。我终于听到孩子们的哭声，终于看到蜷缩一团哭泣的新新，还有女儿们的喊叫声……
　 　保姆回来了，抱起新新，看着我余怒未消的脸想说什么，我摆摆手让她抱新新回自己的房间。我哄着阳阳和月月，突然看到床上有几块动物饼干，阳阳的手里还握 着一块要喂我。我连忙到月月那边，果然月月那边床下有几块饼干，已经被我踩碎了。新新最喜欢吃动物饼干，原来他拉妹妹的手是要给妹妹饼干。我的心被刺痛 了，连忙到他的房间，他已经被保姆哄睡了，可还在睡梦里抽搐着。我不禁泛起一阵酸楚，我这是怎么了?我还是他的妈妈吗'
　　一天，我和女儿们玩着拥抱的游戏。我拍拍手，她们就喊着妈妈，张着小胳膊争先恐后向我跑来，然后我们紧紧拥抱。这么简单的游戏，她们却乐此不疲，一遍又一遍。忽然，新新也张开他的胳膊，向我跑来，含糊地说着，妈妈，妈妈。我简直不相信自己的耳朵!我的儿子，自从来到这个世界，从没开过口!紧紧搂住扑到怀里的新新，我哭了。已经对他沉睡的母爱被重新唤起，儿子，妈妈有多久没搂过你，妈妈对不起你！
　　3
　　我终于开始认真思考我的孩子们，我有一个与众不同的家庭，我竟然有三个孩子！他们正渐渐长大，将来要有他们自己的人生。等我离开这个世界时，只有他们之间才能互相照顾。尤其新新，他需要好多好多的爱。
　　我不再分隔他们，而是常常告诉女儿们，要好好爱哥哥，因为没有他，就没有她们。我知道她们听不懂，我只希望她们会记住我的话。
　　我每天陪三个孩子做游戏，唱歌，跳舞，为他们讲故事。而新新，越来越有灵气，不但会叫爸爸、妹妹了，还会含糊表达自己的需要，而且会随着节奏跳些简单的舞步。看着并成一排熟睡中的孩子们，我终于相信这个世界上有奇迹，那就是爱，爱可以创造一切！
　　阳阳和月月到了上幼儿园的年龄，我也该上班了。为了减少我的负担，婆婆来商量着把新新接走。我犹豫再三，其实按新新现在的情况，勉强可以上幼儿园，可他毕竟和别的孩子不一样，我害怕来自外界给他的伤害。
　　新新被带走的那个晚上，女儿们不肯上床睡觉，一定要等哥哥回来。她们闪着漂亮的大眼睛问我，哥哥什么时候回来?为什么哥哥不上幼儿园?我的心一凛，回答她们，哥哥生病了，要好长时间才会好。她们又问。他会想我们的，为什么我们不照顾他呢?快让哥哥回来，我们会照顾他的。我的心紧了又紧，你们要乖乖的，只要你们听话，哥哥就会回来。她们终于乖乖睡下，而我在黑夜里挂念着新新。儿子，你好吗？
　 　女儿们只去了三天幼儿园，就说什么也不肯去了，告诉我幼儿园里有好多好玩的玩具，还有好多的小朋友，还学习新歌，认字，英语，她们要等哥哥回来一起去。 她们充满期盼的眼睛望着我，还带有小小的挑衅。我讶于她们的执拗，耐着性子哄着她们，可她们却怎么也不肯答应。我沉下脸一手抱着一个，她们哇哇哭起来，妈 妈骗人，说只要我们乖，哥哥就会回来，我们都听话了，可哥哥还是没有回来!
　　我的心猛地僵住了!压抑的眼泪再也控制不住，你们的哥哥，他和别人不一样，他永远学不会那些东西!女儿们为我擦着泪，会的，会的，妈妈，哥哥能学会的，我们会帮助他的!看着她们，我感到了做妈妈的歉疚，我只会一味逃避，以为自己很爱新新，却不如孩子们充满信心去面对。
　　门铃响，竟然是婆婆送新新回来了!几天不见，新新瘦了好多。婆婆无奈地说，这几天新新几乎没吃东西，也不肯睡觉，只一直哭，喊着妹妹，妹妹。她看了心里实在难受，不得已就送回来了。
　　女儿们兴奋起来，拉着新新的手，开始讲幼儿园的事情，还催促我为新新换最漂亮的衣服，他们要一起去幼儿园。
　　4
　　我找到园长，请求她让我的孩子们在一起。因为按照新新的年龄应该上大班，可他的智力水平还不如小班的孩子。当看到我的女儿们一边一个拉着儿子的手，并挥手和我再见的时候。我相信这个决定是对的，爱会为我们创造更多的奇迹。
　 　每天从幼儿园回来，阳阳和月月都帮助新新复习一天学过的东西，而且不许我插手。我的女儿们是班里最出色的孩子，学什么都特别快，而且记得牢。我知道那是 因为她们要教哥哥，所以格外用心去学习。从没看过比她们还有耐心的孩子，轮流一遍又一遍教着笨拙的新新，一个单词往往要重复好多好多遍，甚至梦里还在喃 喃。每次新新学会了，她们就会欢呼起来，然后学着幼儿园老师的样子翘起大拇指说，哥哥你好棒，哥哥你真棒！而我的儿子，就看着妹妹，傻傻憨憨地笑着。
　　老师要求每个孩子学习写自己的名字，这对新新来讲简直是不可能的事情。可一个月后的一天，女儿们兴奋地拉着儿子跑来告诉我，哥哥会写自己的名字了I我将信将疑地看着儿子在纸上歪歪扭扭地写下两个大大的'新'字，尤其敖看到他们练习的本子，我小小的女儿们，竟然知道把哥哥的名字拆成笔划来教，好几个本子写着他们循序渐进的过程，我再一次被女儿们的耐心折服得泪流满面。
　　一天，我去接他们。走到教室门口，听到有个孩子喊着，你们的哥哥是个傻孩子！我一惊，连忙走进去。我示意正要阻止的老师，决定让孩子们自己去面对。只见阳阳憋红了小脸对那个孩子说，我的哥哥不是傻孩子，他是天使，他丢了翅膀，来到我们家，变成一个世界上最好的哥哥，他只不过还没习惯人间的生活。孩子们发出'哇'的惊叹声，你们的哥哥竟然是天使哎！老师含着眼泪搂过阳阳，对孩子们说，新新是我们班的天使，他会爱我们每个小朋友，还教会我们如何去爱别人。 回家的路上，我的心被女儿编织的故事激荡着。我问她们为什么那么爱哥哥，她们一起回答，因为没有哥哥就没有我们啊!忽地泪又盈满我的眼，原来她们已经牢牢记住了我的话，那么小，就学会了爱和感恩。他们是上天赐给彼此的天使，也是上天送给我最珍贵的礼物。因为他们，我才知道，做妈妈是那么值得骄傲和幸福！

happy birthday to aLLice ^.~

1. FIRST WISH I GET : from jeff who born on same day with me :p
2. FIRST CALL ON THE DAY : chris & mum
3. FIRST SECOND : with jessy, ah bin, mailbox & eunice
4. FIRST BIRTHDAY'S 'BIG MEAL' : treated by zhen xiang & lip chin (what's a surprise! thanks my dear buudy)
5. FIRST BIRTHDAY CAKE : at greenbox

6. SURPRISE 1: sms from 'myself' --> my dad using my old number :p
7. TOUCH : my dearest manager(s) rush back from ampang to send my birthday cake, sing a birthday song, then they not even eat the cake then rush to sunway again
8. WARM : had dinner with my 2 sisters at tony roma's

9. THE MOST CREATIVE SMS I RECEIVED : from x164651*x5

10. THE WORDS I WANNA SAY : thanks to all of my lovely family members, sweet relatives, cute friends who remember my big day & sms me/call me/msn me/msg me in facebook, friendster,... wherever&whatever.. thanks you guys so much for the wishes.. i believe that my coming years will be good because of those lovely wishes :) love you guys so much!! *hugs & kisses*

lastly, i would like to hereby announce that --> Mr. Gxh Chin Hxxi won the trophy above with the title of the most creative sms.
Hey, 我没骗你哦！这是我答应要颁给你的最佳创意奖！高兴吧？ 呵呵 ^.~

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devil is back

devil is back!

is that a bad news? i not sure.

when the devil comes back, i forgot the things i told myself. i forgot i said that i cannot be like that, i forgot what i promised myself, i forgot that i want to be good & healthy, i forgot all those i said to myself..
besides, i also forgot the promise i promised danny. sorry, danny, i will try my best to hold the promise, i swear. i also don't want you guys to worry me lah. i 'dai go looi' jorr, know how to think liao, i know what i am doing, really.

actually i not really like to go, i don't know how to dance, so i just enjoy the time with my gang of friends, enjoy drinking, enjoy the music, that's all.
and maybe can also say that i enjoy out+iNG without thinking anything, can throw all those stupid things behind, future, work, money, bla bla bla..
i feel like that time is mine during the time i am there. from monday to friday, the time is not mine, i spend most of the time to work, if not work also, my brain is busy worrying about the work, crazy brain of mine!! then when the time i been controlled by the devil, it automatically delete the word 'work' in my brain, so i feel release. (is that an excuse??)

anyhow, i told myself last night, i will try my best to fight the devil, i want to be a good girl, lol!! i did something unexpected that night, then i don't want to give myself a chance to be like that again!!

aza aza fighting for my health, my personality, my appeareance, my own!!

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chinese new year 2009

actually i want to blog in chinese since it had been a quite long time i did not blog in chinese. however, my laptop still in coma, i am now using sharon's laptop to online, her laptop cannot support chinese typing. hence, again, this is a blog in my poor english.

this chinese new year.. there is no more chinese new year mood.. the weather, the environment, the people, the... at home, grannies' houses, everywhere..
as usual, chinese new year eve had our dinner at granny's house. besides the traditional dinner --> steamboat ( yup, traditional, because every year also the same, cannot change already, don't know why) besides steamboat, we had first activity to the 'old people' -- lou sang. the yee sang was bought by us when the four pretties of my mum went shopping. staright after that, we had a surprise from us, 'young people', to my ''small mushroom'', my auntie lah. that was her birthday. we bought her a cupcake and her youngest daughter bought her a blueberry cake. i thought this would be a good memory for aunt because granny boiled her some red eggs. she was so touching i think.

hmm.. every year, i start 'crying' around 12.00a.m. because of a senario like a song named - smoke get into my eyes. (yul, borrow your copywrite, thanks) this year, i prepare for it also. however, it did not happen this year, i don't know why, no more the feel..

as usual, first day of chinese new year sure we went to grannies' houses. started from last year or last 2 year, Ran them come to granny's on first day also because their 'ah mah' (paternal grandma) passed away. before we depart to granny's house, anggeline already called. haha.. she called to our home & i played a joke said that we were on the way, at traffic lights there almost reach.. haha.. and clever anggeline's brain turned very fast, she got a good question to ask -- your hand is so long can reach home to take the phone? hahaha.. fun!
pretties all like to take pictures, so do us. we took lots of photos at granny's house. but this year, we were not going to have our family photos. we had only our group pictures with the number of us, granny's pretty cucu, ....

this year, we went to maternal grandma's house late. we went at around 3 something 4 something. there was not much people there. we just stayed for awhile then went to nam mai's house, then mai po's house, then kampung. then finally went home.. planned to go online at night, but the plan cancelled after that.

second day of chinese new year.. please refer to the previous blog..

third day of the chinese new year.. may ying visited & then we went to jusco to meet sky. then we had 6A2 gathering at night. the attendances become lesser. and what is so different is -- there are more 6A1 guys joining us. kai pin is normal already, then now add on wen zhe, yen ling, .. mm.. is that can conclude that 6A2 guys are all very kind and friendly so guys from other class also like to join our gathering?? hehe..

forth day.. visited ting's house.. ting 'jio' us to have lunch at her house so me, lean sheng and may ying went. after that.. lean sheng sent me back and went to his girl friend's place. he came to pick me after a few hours to lip chin's house. finally can see lean sheng's girl friend. i only can saw her photos before but not her real people. now, finally i got a chance to meet her :)

fifth day.. went jusco with joyce, chris & ran. ran took leave and asked chris to go out at first. then don't know what happened, chris want to follow joyce & ran follow us to jusco. we met sharon there and then sharon & joyce busy shopping. me, chris & ran nothing to do, no mood to shopping, so we went to search for food. after a long time, finally they finished shopping, and we could went home, yippie!!
lean sheng asked if i want to go to meet kam boey. yea, sure! it had been years i did not see her. her mum still can recognise me :) we talked for a quite long time until the time lean sheng dated other gang of friends.
once i reached home, i called yee mei out already. feel guilty because it had been quite long time i did not reply her call & sms due to the reason 'i am busy' :p we went for tea at machang bubok. chatting chatting chatting.. and she mentioned that wannt sing k. the place is quite 'complicated' so i called U if he would like to be our 'security guard'. luckily he's ok and brought another 'security guard' there, hehe..
it had been a quite long time i did not sing k, my sound turn bad :( i forgot all the skills and lost my SWEET voice. damn miss the time when i always sing with wen.

then i back to kl..


































it's time to go back to work..
but i still have no mood to work..
can i don't want to back to work???

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