初九

如果我在槟城，这个时候应该在旧邻居那里，跟青梅竹马的旧邻居一家一起过了。
如果我还在BP，这个时候应该在Kelvin家，跟BP的姐妹们大快朵颐了。

如果，没有如果，今年的今天，呆在家里，对着我的宝贝电脑，看着大家在面子书上的照片和留言。

以前都不觉得初九有什么特别，直到离开槟城才发现，槟城真的是一个很美的地方。

记得那一年，终于可以待到初九后才回雪州，那个晚上，特别美。

和圣杰坐在我们家外面的草场，从八点多聊到两点，只要稍微抬头就可以看到免费的烟花。真的不明白，农历新年放爆是因为古人想借此赶走年兽，可是，放烟花呢？不明白。
以前是觉得可能大山脚的有钱人太多了，拜祭品一年比一年多，也一年比一年奢华，有的甚至夸张到把屋子搞得好像庙似的，所以烧钱放烟花只是小事一桩，呵呵…
还记得那年，我家是整排屋子中最最最显眼的一间，不为别的，只因为我家是整排屋子中唯一没拜祭天公的一间。我也不明白为什么，印象中，初九是福建人的大日子，拜天公远比正月初一重要，因此有人说初九是福建人的新年，那么，为什么现在不管是福建人还是潮州人，还是客家人，什么人都拜起天公来了？也许槟城人、大山脚人也学到新加坡人的Kiasu吧，呵呵…

这里的初九，好像没有槟城那么热闹，零零稀稀听到几声炮声烟花声之外，好像没什么了。是我住的地方这里没什么福建人的关系吗？不懂巴生那里会是怎么样的情景。某人曾说过，巴生就好像大山脚，去到巴生，就好像回到家乡。虽然我住的蛮靠近，可是，去巴生的次数比我呆在雪州的年份还要少，呵呵…

明年的初九，如果我还在雪州，真的要到巴生看看了，顺便去SHOUT的主席家‘黏餐’, yeah v(^o^)v

对哦，昨天回雪州让我错过了槟城街头文化庙会，遗憾呢。
最近越来越爱槟城了，很爱现在的政府，很爱林冠英叔叔，呵呵…

曾经一时很讨厌的元宵节，今年特别想回去，回去十年前去过的地方，把十年前的记忆抛开，重新爱上在槟城的元宵！ 没有情人的中国情人节一样可以很开心 ♥ ♥ ♥

visited Disneyland, HK

had my trip to HK & Macau last week.

during these 5 days, the only day i was really enjoy 100% is the day i went Disneyland. it was really an amazing land that make you leave your worries behind and have a fantasy day, a real wonderland!!

even though it was a raining day, everyone still enjoyed in this wonderland, and the most important is, the parade and fireworks did not cancelled! it's awesome!! i love the fireworks the most!!

you couldn't feel the beautiful, the amazing, the 'WOW' unless you watch it live by your own eyes! i took video, but the feel is totally different! what i can say is, i was no regret to leave the group, not to go ocean park but go Disneyland..

Here's video i took:

a song can switch ur mood good :)

was not really in a good mood after heard something from someone.
can't understand why there's some people around me can be like that.
can't understand what is in their mind.. and can't understand why everything related to me..

anyway, my mood turn better after i watch this MV.. feel so sweet seeing leehom in the MV..
and smile comes back on my face, hehe :)

click play to listen
王力宏 ~ 我依然爱你


一閃一閃亮晶晶
留下歲月的痕跡
我的世界的中心
依然還是你

一年一年又一年
飛逝僅在一轉眼
唯一永遠不改變
是不停地改變

我不像從前的自己
你也有點不像你
但在我眼中你的笑
依然的美麗

日子只能往前走
一個方向順時鐘
不知道還有多久
所以要讓你懂我依然愛你 就是 唯一的退路
我依然珍惜 時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸 每一個動作 每個表情
到最後 一定會
依然愛你

我依然愛你 或許是 命中注定
多年之後 任何人都無法代替
那些時光是我這一輩子最美好的
那些回憶 依然無法忘記

我依然愛你 就是 唯一的退路
我依然珍惜 時時刻刻的幸福
你每個呼吸 每一個動作 每個表情
到最後 一定會
依然愛你

你每個呼吸 每一個動作 每個表情
到永遠 一定會
依然愛你

beyond the door, there's peace.. i'm sure..

a song dedicated to uncle choon who we called 'choon ku leh' in hainanese..

out of suddenly, received news that he is rest in peace in the midnight. really so sudden until i cry no tears. could not be back to accompany him for the last journey, i can only here praying and hoping that he can be happily in heaven with grandma..



Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven


Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace, I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven

La Blanca Navidad

Here's dedicated a song wishing you all a peaceful & warm x'mas...

white christmas presented by my fav group -- il divo...
click the play button now :)

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know

Where the treetops glisten
and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write

May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white.

Oh, blanca navidad, sueño
y con la nieve alrededor

blanca es mi quimera
y es mensajera
de paz, y de puro amor

Oh, blanca navidad, nieve
una esperanza y un cantar
recordar tu infancia podrás
al llegar la blanca navidad.

這個冬天特別冷

多少個年頭沒回家過冬了? 多久沒吃到 自家搓的湯圓了? 多久沒聞到溢滿整屋那未煮成湯圓的麵粉味了? 究竟有多久了? 我都忘了.

放工後到Jusco打算買麵粉回家,準備搓湯圓,給她們驚喜的,結果計畫失敗,因為媽媽說今年不可以搓湯圓. 是啊,都沒團圓,還搓甚麼湯圓!

曾經的那些年,逢過年過節, 我們家一定是最熱鬧的. 雖然心疼媽媽必須在天還未亮就得 開始忙碌, 可是那些日子比較像'家'. 除非不在本地, 不然大家一定會就在我們家一起吃晚餐,然後閒話家常. 不知從甚麼時候開始, 也許是多了那麼些成員, 也許發生了些事, '大日子'不再那麼'大', 睡醒的時候不再看到阿公在處理雞, 晚餐也不是大家一起吃了, 一切都變了.

後來的後來, 除夕夜的團圓飯也都不齊人了... 然後, 阿公離開了... 再然後, 阿嬤也去陪阿公了...

我在想, 以後, 那種溫馨熱鬧的場景還會出現在這個'家'嗎?

這個冬天特別冷!

冷的不是天氣, 而是心.

以為不是出生在富貴門就不會遇上那種爭財產事件,原來, 沒有甚麼可觀數字的財產可以爭, 還是有那麼些東西和意見可以吵. 本是同根生, 相煎何太急!

心寒 + i.N.G

talk abt my W

quite negative recently.

It had been half year i work in this company. However, i lost my passion here after 2 months! what's the big difference compare with my previous company?!

now only i understand what my ex-boss said. 'culture' is very important in a company. most of the time, i enjoyed the culture & environment of my previous company. i love my job! i love the 2 bosses, i love my manager, i love my colleagues, i love to be a part of the family!!
here, in this new company, eventhough it is a listed company, but it is just a company and i'm just one of the staffs. this is the culture here.

that time when  my ggm told me her plan, i really so excited and thought the changes will come soon. everything will turn better. However, it has been months and i still could not see/heard any of the news.
understand that it will take some time. know that this is not a decision can made easily. i just wonder if this plan is still on.

sometimes, when i notice something which should not be, or something which suppose to be better, i really wanted to help and sometimes i did try to help. with my post, it's not so easy for me to help up even when i tried my best. i really hope someone with more power is here to stop/prevent those unwanted things to happen, or here to solve the problems.

if i'm going to leave, or if i'm going to stay until i finish my study, should i say out what is in my mind? should i share my opinions? should i?

i'm here for half year, saw lots of things happened, i realize something, and i lost my passion.
i really hope that i can re-find my passion here. i really hope that i can survive here. i really do.

long time no see

it had been quite some time I did not update my bloggie here.

for months, I experienced lots of things. I had been forced to face something I never want to face. there’s nightmare!

we planned for a family gathering at KL since my 2nd elder sister going to Holland. thought it would be a happy & warm moment since we did not have chance to gather after CNY. however, the reality is so cruel that once sister & parent stepped on the land of KL. it was a war between my sisters!

next, when everything become better on the next day, when we had our lunch, there’s a call from BM that made us worry. I thought that it was just a small incident since they always like to call and disturb especially when dad & mum are outside.

I could hardly believe when Peng told me that grandma stopped breathing. there’s no tears drop from my eyes. I only started to panic when uncle brought the bad news to eldest sister. I told eldest sister that I want my 2 little cousins to come back from taiwan because they grow up with us & they really ‘sek’ (sayang in Cantonese) my grandma so much. my tears only dropped off when eldest sister talked with the elder cousin in the phone. We ask them to check the flight tickets by themselves and we only provide our credit card info to them once they confirm.

then, we had to arrange our transport back to BM. called to hire a van to send us back because the whole family was here and we could not fixed in sister’s coupe. before depart, ah girl was sent to its new place where it can get more freedom to run and play if compare with our small little kitchen.

reach BM around 12am. Grandma was still lying on the bed. Again, tears dropped.

I guess, dad could not accept the truth that grandma left us. this is a 遗憾 because could not be at her side when she left. 1st time, I saw dad act like that.

(gosh! stop blurring my vision, tears!)

I know that we should not cry because grandma left peacefully without suffering so much. I know that we could not ask more from the god since grandma aged 100. but, I’m an aquarius! I could not control the tears!

(sorry, I have to stop here eventhough I have yet to finish all what I want to say.. the tears keep slipping out and block my vision.. to be continue..)

A display of the people’s spirit

A display of the people’s spirit

when the tears gonna drop

i tell myself that i'm an aquarius gal.. aquarius gal can cry easily.. so i no need to hold my tears..
i tell myself that even i tears, it doesn't mean that i am weak.. even if i'm really weak, i cannot just let it be..
i have to pursue myself.. to act strong.. because nobody that i can depend on, except my own self..
people around me will leave me one day.. even if they won't.. it doesn't mean that i can trouble them..
i don't want to be a troublemaker.. but i always be.. guilty..
just leave me alone.. let me bear everything on myself.. until i cant breath and just let me go to the hell..
be a devil.. with no tears.. with a strong & cruel characteristic.. stop being bullied (even by the god).. and change my world..

then.. the tears which gonna drop just now.. dried..