no title

i just type out what in my mind now.. what to describe my brain now? it's bird nest maybe.. very 'zap' (za2 luan4 wu2 zang1)
before continue, what i wanna say is --> if you not understand what i say, then you may just ignore..


life :
'no streamyx no life' was a slogan that i used when i newly moved to be auntie's neighbour.. and now only i realized that 'no lappie no life'.. it had been 1 month ++ that my baby in coma mode. although i can use sis's lappie after work, but it's not mine, the feel is totally different. i miss my lappie very much!!

work :
i thought i enjoy what i'm doing now.. yeah! i am.. if nothing happened.. i now only understand why B & V don't want to talk so much in front of the guy.. i admit that i'm devil. so.. i think he would be a GHOST! when he said those things to my 'beloved' manager in front of me, i didn't explain anything.. again.. my reputation dropped.. someone asked me why i don't want to clarifiy, why i don't want to tell her the whole story.. what you say? others might think that explanation is just an excuse.. i believe that 'cheng jei ji cheng'.. no point if you don't believe me and i keep explaining to clarify.. and if you trust me, then i no need to explain you also will believe me, right?
in Facebook, sis & anggeline mentioned, must know how to avoid or be spontenous & intelligent when communicate with others, "see people speak people language, see ghost speak ghost language'', dont give any chance to backstab me! so.. maybe i can try to be mute to reduce the chances of being backstab..

friend :
feel guilty to those friends such as the 6A2 gang members whose convo just passed and i did not attent; the gang which we supposed to go genting together but due to some reasons i cannot go; jessy about the last night cases yang mempersiasuikan & men-worry-kan; wei tat about his birthday party, yew about....

family :
cannot help anything even i know the problems.. mum, sis, everyone's problem that i cannot help..
heard that grandpa was in hospital again because asthma.. hopefully he won't be bullied and sent to hospital again..

money money :
most most most important point! haha..
money never enough!!!

dream :
the volunteer dream is that still can achieve? i wonder..

huu... many things still not yet finish.. many plan still not yet start on.. my life is like in the hell now.. so i transform myself to be a bloody devil [地獄來の血腥惡魔女] so that the life in hell won't be too bad for me! and maybe i can enjoy the life like this ^.~

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丢了翅膀的天使

...丢了翅膀，他仍是天使


read this story quite some times ago..
Re-read this just now when i checked my msn mail.. although this is not the first time i read, tears still can't stop dropping.. it's really a good touching story that made me cry everytime i read...

当在外地出差的我坐飞机赶回来时，十个月的儿子新新已经被推出抢救室。医生说持续的高烧也许损伤了脑神经，我要有心理准备接受可能的后遗症。
　 　老公两天后才从国外回来。出院后，我们常常测试新新的听力和视觉，没有发现任何异常。我们终于放下忐忑的心。可渐渐地，我发现他开始瞪着无神的眼睛发 呆，或者呈现一种令我不安的笑容。当和新新一般大的孩子开始迈着步子，清脆地喊着爸爸妈妈的时候，新新依旧呆呆坐在那里，傻傻地笑着。抱着他四处求医，结 论同出一辙：新新的智力将会停留在幼儿期，除非发生奇迹。
　　那是段痛不欲生的日子，抱着孩子寻找各种可能的奇迹，秘方、偏方，甚至针灸。那长长的针如同刺在我的心尖，汗和泪伴着孩子凄厉的哭声一起落下。我多么希望这只是一场梦，梦醒后充满灵气的新新在对我甜甜地笑。我开始幻听，总感觉新新在喊妈妈。
　　我深深自责为了事业没有照顾好儿子，却不敢留在家里面对。每天下班后沉默地搂着他，日复一日，泪流尽了，心也似乎麻木了。老公也因为家里气氛沉闷，渐渐变得很少回家吃饭。
　　婆婆来看我们，说把新新带走，让我们再要一个孩子。我不假思索断然拒绝，我不能那样做!他没有选择地来到这个世界，又因为我的疏忽变成这样，已经够不幸了!把新新紧紧搂在怀里，我不要别人分享对他的爱！

　　2
新新两周岁生日那天，我才惊觉老公已经不再陪我们一起吃饭了，怕失去他的恐慌开始噬咬着我，使我觉得难以呼吸。直至深夜，一身酒气踉踉跄跄的老公才踏进家门，我已经荒芜的泪水终于又奔涌出来。老婆，我们再要一个孩子好吗?我狠狠点着头，与他紧紧相拥，抵死缠绵……
我又怀孕了！抚着逐渐隆起的小腹，有些苦涩的甜蜜。我仿佛比谁都期待这个孩子，却又在内心里抗拒这个孩子。看到新新向我伸来的手臂，我的心又涌起巨大的痛楚：新新，这个世界，除了妈妈谁还能爱你!
　　我终于下定决心打掉这个孩子，可检查结果使我震惊：我竟然怀了双胞胎！
　　2002年 的夏天，一对漂亮的小女孩阳阳和月月降临了。满月以后，那对粉雕玉琢的小人，总是甜甜地笑，很少哭闹。只要我一说话，头就随着我的声音转，让我充分享受到 做妈妈的喜悦。我已经顾不上新新，无论我多么约束自己，潜意识里我已经开始忽略新新，只把他交给保姆，甚至开始讨厌他那傻傻的样子。
　 　转眼，阳阳和月月会走了。新新一般不注意什么，只是对这两个妹妹格外敏感，常常注视她们的一举一动，似乎带着极大的兴趣，而且不同于平时的眼神。我是不 允许他接近她们的，他只能那样在一边望着，可我控制不住阳阳和月月蹒跚迈向新新的脚步，她们同样对新新表现出极大的兴趣。而我却舍不得强迫她们什么，只是 一次又一次严厉地对新新说，记住，不许碰妹妹!不许碰妹妹！渐渐地，他对我有了怯意，我却丝毫没觉得有何不妥。
　　一天，孩子们在午睡，保姆出去买菜，我去储物间整理衣物。突然听到孩子的哭声，我连忙跑进卧室，看到新新正从床的栏杆间缝向外拉月月的两根手指，手指被卡住，新新还在用力向外拉。我一把拉过新新，照着他的手，狠狠拍打，不是告诉你不许碰妹妹，不许碰妹妹吗!看你以后还碰不碰妹妹!我越打越生气，似乎在发泄对他积累的厌恶。我疯了似的寻找可以用来打他的东西，直到看见镜子里自己魔鬼一样的脸。我终于听到孩子们的哭声，终于看到蜷缩一团哭泣的新新，还有女儿们的喊叫声……
　 　保姆回来了，抱起新新，看着我余怒未消的脸想说什么，我摆摆手让她抱新新回自己的房间。我哄着阳阳和月月，突然看到床上有几块动物饼干，阳阳的手里还握 着一块要喂我。我连忙到月月那边，果然月月那边床下有几块饼干，已经被我踩碎了。新新最喜欢吃动物饼干，原来他拉妹妹的手是要给妹妹饼干。我的心被刺痛 了，连忙到他的房间，他已经被保姆哄睡了，可还在睡梦里抽搐着。我不禁泛起一阵酸楚，我这是怎么了?我还是他的妈妈吗'
　　一天，我和女儿们玩着拥抱的游戏。我拍拍手，她们就喊着妈妈，张着小胳膊争先恐后向我跑来，然后我们紧紧拥抱。这么简单的游戏，她们却乐此不疲，一遍又一遍。忽然，新新也张开他的胳膊，向我跑来，含糊地说着，妈妈，妈妈。我简直不相信自己的耳朵!我的儿子，自从来到这个世界，从没开过口!紧紧搂住扑到怀里的新新，我哭了。已经对他沉睡的母爱被重新唤起，儿子，妈妈有多久没搂过你，妈妈对不起你！
　　3
　　我终于开始认真思考我的孩子们，我有一个与众不同的家庭，我竟然有三个孩子！他们正渐渐长大，将来要有他们自己的人生。等我离开这个世界时，只有他们之间才能互相照顾。尤其新新，他需要好多好多的爱。
　　我不再分隔他们，而是常常告诉女儿们，要好好爱哥哥，因为没有他，就没有她们。我知道她们听不懂，我只希望她们会记住我的话。
　　我每天陪三个孩子做游戏，唱歌，跳舞，为他们讲故事。而新新，越来越有灵气，不但会叫爸爸、妹妹了，还会含糊表达自己的需要，而且会随着节奏跳些简单的舞步。看着并成一排熟睡中的孩子们，我终于相信这个世界上有奇迹，那就是爱，爱可以创造一切！
　　阳阳和月月到了上幼儿园的年龄，我也该上班了。为了减少我的负担，婆婆来商量着把新新接走。我犹豫再三，其实按新新现在的情况，勉强可以上幼儿园，可他毕竟和别的孩子不一样，我害怕来自外界给他的伤害。
　　新新被带走的那个晚上，女儿们不肯上床睡觉，一定要等哥哥回来。她们闪着漂亮的大眼睛问我，哥哥什么时候回来?为什么哥哥不上幼儿园?我的心一凛，回答她们，哥哥生病了，要好长时间才会好。她们又问。他会想我们的，为什么我们不照顾他呢?快让哥哥回来，我们会照顾他的。我的心紧了又紧，你们要乖乖的，只要你们听话，哥哥就会回来。她们终于乖乖睡下，而我在黑夜里挂念着新新。儿子，你好吗？
　 　女儿们只去了三天幼儿园，就说什么也不肯去了，告诉我幼儿园里有好多好玩的玩具，还有好多的小朋友，还学习新歌，认字，英语，她们要等哥哥回来一起去。 她们充满期盼的眼睛望着我，还带有小小的挑衅。我讶于她们的执拗，耐着性子哄着她们，可她们却怎么也不肯答应。我沉下脸一手抱着一个，她们哇哇哭起来，妈 妈骗人，说只要我们乖，哥哥就会回来，我们都听话了，可哥哥还是没有回来!
　　我的心猛地僵住了!压抑的眼泪再也控制不住，你们的哥哥，他和别人不一样，他永远学不会那些东西!女儿们为我擦着泪，会的，会的，妈妈，哥哥能学会的，我们会帮助他的!看着她们，我感到了做妈妈的歉疚，我只会一味逃避，以为自己很爱新新，却不如孩子们充满信心去面对。
　　门铃响，竟然是婆婆送新新回来了!几天不见，新新瘦了好多。婆婆无奈地说，这几天新新几乎没吃东西，也不肯睡觉，只一直哭，喊着妹妹，妹妹。她看了心里实在难受，不得已就送回来了。
　　女儿们兴奋起来，拉着新新的手，开始讲幼儿园的事情，还催促我为新新换最漂亮的衣服，他们要一起去幼儿园。
　　4
　　我找到园长，请求她让我的孩子们在一起。因为按照新新的年龄应该上大班，可他的智力水平还不如小班的孩子。当看到我的女儿们一边一个拉着儿子的手，并挥手和我再见的时候。我相信这个决定是对的，爱会为我们创造更多的奇迹。
　 　每天从幼儿园回来，阳阳和月月都帮助新新复习一天学过的东西，而且不许我插手。我的女儿们是班里最出色的孩子，学什么都特别快，而且记得牢。我知道那是 因为她们要教哥哥，所以格外用心去学习。从没看过比她们还有耐心的孩子，轮流一遍又一遍教着笨拙的新新，一个单词往往要重复好多好多遍，甚至梦里还在喃 喃。每次新新学会了，她们就会欢呼起来，然后学着幼儿园老师的样子翘起大拇指说，哥哥你好棒，哥哥你真棒！而我的儿子，就看着妹妹，傻傻憨憨地笑着。
　　老师要求每个孩子学习写自己的名字，这对新新来讲简直是不可能的事情。可一个月后的一天，女儿们兴奋地拉着儿子跑来告诉我，哥哥会写自己的名字了I我将信将疑地看着儿子在纸上歪歪扭扭地写下两个大大的'新'字，尤其敖看到他们练习的本子，我小小的女儿们，竟然知道把哥哥的名字拆成笔划来教，好几个本子写着他们循序渐进的过程，我再一次被女儿们的耐心折服得泪流满面。
　　一天，我去接他们。走到教室门口，听到有个孩子喊着，你们的哥哥是个傻孩子！我一惊，连忙走进去。我示意正要阻止的老师，决定让孩子们自己去面对。只见阳阳憋红了小脸对那个孩子说，我的哥哥不是傻孩子，他是天使，他丢了翅膀，来到我们家，变成一个世界上最好的哥哥，他只不过还没习惯人间的生活。孩子们发出'哇'的惊叹声，你们的哥哥竟然是天使哎！老师含着眼泪搂过阳阳，对孩子们说，新新是我们班的天使，他会爱我们每个小朋友，还教会我们如何去爱别人。 回家的路上，我的心被女儿编织的故事激荡着。我问她们为什么那么爱哥哥，她们一起回答，因为没有哥哥就没有我们啊!忽地泪又盈满我的眼，原来她们已经牢牢记住了我的话，那么小，就学会了爱和感恩。他们是上天赐给彼此的天使，也是上天送给我最珍贵的礼物。因为他们，我才知道，做妈妈是那么值得骄傲和幸福！

happy birthday to aLLice ^.~

1. FIRST WISH I GET : from jeff who born on same day with me :p
2. FIRST CALL ON THE DAY : chris & mum
3. FIRST SECOND : with jessy, ah bin, mailbox & eunice
4. FIRST BIRTHDAY'S 'BIG MEAL' : treated by zhen xiang & lip chin (what's a surprise! thanks my dear buudy)
5. FIRST BIRTHDAY CAKE : at greenbox

6. SURPRISE 1: sms from 'myself' --> my dad using my old number :p
7. TOUCH : my dearest manager(s) rush back from ampang to send my birthday cake, sing a birthday song, then they not even eat the cake then rush to sunway again
8. WARM : had dinner with my 2 sisters at tony roma's

9. THE MOST CREATIVE SMS I RECEIVED : from x164651*x5

10. THE WORDS I WANNA SAY : thanks to all of my lovely family members, sweet relatives, cute friends who remember my big day & sms me/call me/msn me/msg me in facebook, friendster,... wherever&whatever.. thanks you guys so much for the wishes.. i believe that my coming years will be good because of those lovely wishes :) love you guys so much!! *hugs & kisses*

lastly, i would like to hereby announce that --> Mr. Gxh Chin Hxxi won the trophy above with the title of the most creative sms.
Hey, 我没骗你哦！这是我答应要颁给你的最佳创意奖！高兴吧？ 呵呵 ^.~

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devil is back

devil is back!

is that a bad news? i not sure.

when the devil comes back, i forgot the things i told myself. i forgot i said that i cannot be like that, i forgot what i promised myself, i forgot that i want to be good & healthy, i forgot all those i said to myself..
besides, i also forgot the promise i promised danny. sorry, danny, i will try my best to hold the promise, i swear. i also don't want you guys to worry me lah. i 'dai go looi' jorr, know how to think liao, i know what i am doing, really.

actually i not really like to go, i don't know how to dance, so i just enjoy the time with my gang of friends, enjoy drinking, enjoy the music, that's all.
and maybe can also say that i enjoy out+iNG without thinking anything, can throw all those stupid things behind, future, work, money, bla bla bla..
i feel like that time is mine during the time i am there. from monday to friday, the time is not mine, i spend most of the time to work, if not work also, my brain is busy worrying about the work, crazy brain of mine!! then when the time i been controlled by the devil, it automatically delete the word 'work' in my brain, so i feel release. (is that an excuse??)

anyhow, i told myself last night, i will try my best to fight the devil, i want to be a good girl, lol!! i did something unexpected that night, then i don't want to give myself a chance to be like that again!!

aza aza fighting for my health, my personality, my appeareance, my own!!

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chinese new year 2009

actually i want to blog in chinese since it had been a quite long time i did not blog in chinese. however, my laptop still in coma, i am now using sharon's laptop to online, her laptop cannot support chinese typing. hence, again, this is a blog in my poor english.

this chinese new year.. there is no more chinese new year mood.. the weather, the environment, the people, the... at home, grannies' houses, everywhere..
as usual, chinese new year eve had our dinner at granny's house. besides the traditional dinner --> steamboat ( yup, traditional, because every year also the same, cannot change already, don't know why) besides steamboat, we had first activity to the 'old people' -- lou sang. the yee sang was bought by us when the four pretties of my mum went shopping. staright after that, we had a surprise from us, 'young people', to my ''small mushroom'', my auntie lah. that was her birthday. we bought her a cupcake and her youngest daughter bought her a blueberry cake. i thought this would be a good memory for aunt because granny boiled her some red eggs. she was so touching i think.

hmm.. every year, i start 'crying' around 12.00a.m. because of a senario like a song named - smoke get into my eyes. (yul, borrow your copywrite, thanks) this year, i prepare for it also. however, it did not happen this year, i don't know why, no more the feel..

as usual, first day of chinese new year sure we went to grannies' houses. started from last year or last 2 year, Ran them come to granny's on first day also because their 'ah mah' (paternal grandma) passed away. before we depart to granny's house, anggeline already called. haha.. she called to our home & i played a joke said that we were on the way, at traffic lights there almost reach.. haha.. and clever anggeline's brain turned very fast, she got a good question to ask -- your hand is so long can reach home to take the phone? hahaha.. fun!
pretties all like to take pictures, so do us. we took lots of photos at granny's house. but this year, we were not going to have our family photos. we had only our group pictures with the number of us, granny's pretty cucu, ....

this year, we went to maternal grandma's house late. we went at around 3 something 4 something. there was not much people there. we just stayed for awhile then went to nam mai's house, then mai po's house, then kampung. then finally went home.. planned to go online at night, but the plan cancelled after that.

second day of chinese new year.. please refer to the previous blog..

third day of the chinese new year.. may ying visited & then we went to jusco to meet sky. then we had 6A2 gathering at night. the attendances become lesser. and what is so different is -- there are more 6A1 guys joining us. kai pin is normal already, then now add on wen zhe, yen ling, .. mm.. is that can conclude that 6A2 guys are all very kind and friendly so guys from other class also like to join our gathering?? hehe..

forth day.. visited ting's house.. ting 'jio' us to have lunch at her house so me, lean sheng and may ying went. after that.. lean sheng sent me back and went to his girl friend's place. he came to pick me after a few hours to lip chin's house. finally can see lean sheng's girl friend. i only can saw her photos before but not her real people. now, finally i got a chance to meet her :)

fifth day.. went jusco with joyce, chris & ran. ran took leave and asked chris to go out at first. then don't know what happened, chris want to follow joyce & ran follow us to jusco. we met sharon there and then sharon & joyce busy shopping. me, chris & ran nothing to do, no mood to shopping, so we went to search for food. after a long time, finally they finished shopping, and we could went home, yippie!!
lean sheng asked if i want to go to meet kam boey. yea, sure! it had been years i did not see her. her mum still can recognise me :) we talked for a quite long time until the time lean sheng dated other gang of friends.
once i reached home, i called yee mei out already. feel guilty because it had been quite long time i did not reply her call & sms due to the reason 'i am busy' :p we went for tea at machang bubok. chatting chatting chatting.. and she mentioned that wannt sing k. the place is quite 'complicated' so i called U if he would like to be our 'security guard'. luckily he's ok and brought another 'security guard' there, hehe..
it had been a quite long time i did not sing k, my sound turn bad :( i forgot all the skills and lost my SWEET voice. damn miss the time when i always sing with wen.

then i back to kl..


































it's time to go back to work..
but i still have no mood to work..
can i don't want to back to work???

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second day of Chinese New Year 2009

today, second day of Chinese New Year 2009.

not as usual, we didn't go to grannies' houses.

Woke up at 9am something 10am something, not yet bath, the 'kai zai' already came! who is 'kai zai'? my godson?? sure no lah! he is my dad's eldest godson lah! they come on second day of chinese new year every year! i not sure about others, but i know i not so like they come! he came with his wife and 2 dinosaurs! i wonder why they called dinosaurs! and today, i know already! they called dinosaurs because they are similar with dinosaurs!! they are fulled with power of destroy!! damn horrible!! i don't know what type of endurance their parents have! GENG!!

cousin sister, wen called and said that grandpa gives ang pow today, asked us to go granny's house. mm.. last year, grandpa didn't give us ang pow because he said that he lost his money, and this year, we not dare to ask ang pow from him already, don't know why he suddenly gives today.

after lunch, dad & mum went out. the sun was too hot! and highly effected everyone's mood! at first, don't know who from granny's house called and asked us to go there. we said that we will go when not so hot, no need to rush us! then, agian, a call from there to force us to go! bull shit!! joyce finally decided to scarify her own self ! thanks joyce :p

took a nap until joyce back with wen. heard the story + mumble + joke + ate + .... until dad & mum back. Dad not dare to say anything when came back, haha.. then small mushroom came to pick wen when we were looking the pictures we took on chinese new year eve & first day of chinese new year at granny's house.

not long after that, dad received a call. then, bak kut teh kiang came with his don't know who.. someone not so happy and someone very kepo, and someoneS hide in the room, someoneS enjoyed themselves, someoneS had nothing to do.. haha...
came back from US so what?
so kepo for what? kek gao gao for what?

after kiang uncle left, we had our 'lou sang' ceremony. Actually the yee sang we bought is for our own family only, then i heard that wen like to eat so i ask if we can lou with them. Luckily wen so 'hang fuk' once she stepped in our house. we not only served her with lots of things to eat, we lou sang together, and she packed the food back to eat somemore!! wow!!

then, we had dinner and prepared to come out. this is our plan since we back to bm. however, it had been delayed for few days already. mm... while waiting to come out, i make note to mum. what note? haha.. i went for joey yap's seminar saturday before i back bm. i copied some important points during the seminar and wanted to share with those who believe :)
i not yet finish copy + explain to mum, sisters already done their preparation and wanted to go out, so i stopped half way and will be continue tomorrow i think.

reached oldtown, but no 'feng shui' place to sit. luckily we no need to wait for so long time already can change to a better place. however, however, however....... the line is lag!!! :(
mood turn bad.

hard to upload photos. hard to do anything! haih.. nothing to do, bored!

read some blogs, comment some, and now, updating my own blog..

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GONG XI FA CAI!!

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!!

wish everyone of us a happy & prosperous year of Ox!!

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reBorn

reborn after 1-day-new-year-trip on 1 Jan 2009 lol!!

it had been a quite long time i didn't go to beach.. at first i thought they are just kidding and i not really feel like want to go since i don't know how to swim. yup, i had forbia, that's why everytime i go seaside to walk-walk only and nobody saw me in the sea :p
however, the plan was on and we decided to go PD as our new year trip. The time changed and changed + something happened at home + the sky was so dark while we were having our brunch at puchong = my mood spoilt.. luckily, at last i still had my wonderful day there :)

i was so brave to play banana boat once we reached there, but i regretted after i sat on the banana boat ( =.= )lll sweat..
after banana boat, i spent quite a long time in the sea. i was so scare at first, and so 'pui fok' them because they could swim so far.. then i had been pulled by benny into the mid of the sea (not mid lah, but far until our legs could not touch the 'floor'). Here, i would like to thanks benny for teaching me although i am a stupid student that until now also can't manage to know how to swim.. sigh...

after shower, after photo session, we went for dinner, then went back PJ. on the way back PJ, we changed our chatting language to english, lol! i want to learn english! i want to improve my poor english!!

actually the trip ended with the dinner at PD, but then 4 of us went 'yam cha' at old town near bell's place. and what i learnt that night is an idiom -- casting pearls before swine, lol.. stupid me not only don't know the meaning when vincent said the words, i don't even know the meaning of swine. i really have to improve my poor english!!

started from 1 jan 2009, it would be a brand new year for a brand new me to have a brand new life.. haha..


P/S:
this is what i owe yul......

Actually i not really know how to take care of it.. hard for me to sacrifice my sleeping time to manage it.. { regret+ i N G }.. erm.. maybe i will go to straighten it back if i still don't know how to manage it, and if i really need lots of time to manage it, if i need to sacrifice my golden sleeping time.. :p

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HaPpY 2009

actually i did not plan to go anywhere to welcome 2009. i was too lazy to go out since the traffics everywhere would be damn jam (although i not need to drive).
i was planning to stay at home to finish up the last episode of the drama i am 'chasing' & surf the net. however, the plan changed after bell sms me.

after i had dinner with eldest sister at Subang, then they came to pick me to Sunway Pyramid. We spent lots of time looking for the parking :(
the first station we went in Sunway Pyramid is a Japanese Restaurant (sorry, i forgot the name of the restaurant already). Then where else? sure is Starbucks again lol!! there were so crowded! We could not find any empty table! Wasted some time there then luckily we managed to get a place while they were buying the drinks ^.~

After coffee, we went to wait for the fireworks.
do you know what made the fireworks so beautiful? there was my sadness, unhappiness, misfortune, sickness, regret & all the bad things happened to me.. sharp 1200 1 Jan 2009, all those bad things gone with the fireworks, and all good fortune will come :)
i believe that my 2009 will be bright, charming and sparkling, lol!!

my little greedy resolutions for first 6 months of 2009:
Jan-- wish that i can have a happy Chinese New Year with all 6 of us, relatives & sure my best buddies ^.^
Feb-- Hope Yul has self-confidence and can pass the important interview :p
March-- be slim! slim! slim!! LOL!!
April-- wish the event ends with a huge success :)
May-- secret, hehe ^.~
June-- My 2 Chris' birthday month. My 2 lovely sisters, Chris, (yea, bith of them also called Chris) i wish that their birthdays' wishes can be reach :)

emm.. the resolutions for next 6 months will update on june then, hehe...

HAPPY 2009

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the story of betrayed

it's still the same case..

bell heard the story of betrayed & very 'tang ngor mm dai'. she asked me to blog about HER 'sui yeh' let everyone know about that (just like what emma asked me to do that time, to release my anger & indignation), haha..

ok, the story begins about 2 months ago when i supposed to find some models and promoter for the upcoming event for my company.

One day, i saw a girl that i know before appear in front of the glass door of my company. i was quite surprise. she accompanied her friend to come for the interview and asked whether or not she could have a chance to interview also. After getting the permission of my manager, she got the chance to interview.
i not sure what she said during the interview, but definitely she mentioned that she is my friend. (this is what-so-called 'yeng chan yeng cek'? is that she think that 'yeng chan yeng cek' like this will get more chance to get the job? ) why i know this? it's because after she left the office, my manager ask me about the person. i was so kind to not to say any bad thing about her, because i understand the courtesy of not to spoil other's career.
She was not suppose to get the job after the interview. however, we could not find enough people to work, so she would be the 3-day-promoter for the event.
Her attitude was not so good during the briefing and training session. She didn't pay attention to the trainer at all! i thought only me who noticed that, but no, others also noticed and my manager asked me to pay more attention to her during the days she work.
the day before the second training, she told me that her boyfriend's grandfather passed away, and she could not attend the training. ok, fine. i tried to arrange another day for her, but, the day before the training, again! at 11 something p.m 12 something a.m, she sms me, mentioned that she could not work and found a replace for me already. i called her and asked her to come the next day to show them the condition of her eyes and to apologize for can't work ( i thought this is what we all need to do if we have a good manner ) however, she just ignored what i said.
i tried to call her many times since that, but she didn't answer my call, no matter i used my own handphone or the company phone. then, i tried to ask someone else to get her to call me back. she was just ignore what the person asked her to do also. what is so difficult? we just need a medical cert ok?!! i thinks almost 1 month after the event, again, i called the person to get her. and after few hours, she came! with a friend! with 'cari pasal punya attitude'!
In the meeting room, that person, her friend, my manager and me were sitting there. she and her friend kept 'blaming' or maybe i can say that they complained me and tried to said something that is 'funny' to hurt me. she don't even want to say my name and not dare to look at me! (this is not the first time she did the similar things, i wonder why i am so stupid to treat her as a friend! and then, i gave her a chance to do something that i could not aspect! i never think that she is so bad until can go to other's company to spoil other's career! shit!!) ok, fine! i thought i am strong enough to accept all the weapons she threw on me! however, i noticed that i am not! sad, hurt, angry, disappointed, upset,...
tears finally dropped when i talked with emma on the phone on the way back from office. emma borrowed me an ear to listen to my mumble, cry, scold and laugh! yea, i was crazy that time!! lost control!! i almost want to kill the person already!
after reached home, straight entered the bath room and showered for 1 hour. actually i was not feeling well that few days, and after that, i got fever =.=

if i say that i am nothing now, i think nobody will believe it, even myself. however, i feel better after i get the concern+console+support from my dearest buddies. i am so happy to have all you gals & guys beside me, love you all so much!!

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allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan

allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan