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放不下

一个苦者找到一个和尚倾诉他的心事。

他说:“我放不下一些事,放不下一些人。”
和尚说:“没有什么东西是放不下的。”
他说:“这些事和人我就偏偏放不下。”
和尚让他拿着一个茶杯,然后就往里面倒热水,一直倒到水
溢出 来。
苦者被烫到马上松开了手。
和尚说:“这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的,痛了,你自然就 会放下。”

你可能觉得难过
因为无论你对他怎么好 他都不领情
他不是看不到 他只是装作看不到
或者他根本不想看到
你觉得自己很喜欢他
甚至觉得再没有一个人可以像你那么喜欢他
你用尽全力对他好
把他看的比自己还重要
有什么事情第一个就想到他
联系不到他的时候 你担心他担心的快疯了
然而你有没有想过
这并不在你的责任范围
而且很有可能他是在躲着你
他受不了你对他那么好
不要一直发短信给他
不要一直找他
你也许只是想找他说说话
你觉得那很正常 不算苛求
但是也许他并不这么想
记住 你的想法不代表他的想法
你是真的不求回报的才喜欢他吗
你扪心自问一下
你确定不用他回报什么吗
那为什么你会难过
若是真的一无所求
你又怎么会觉得难过呢
所以 别觉得你那么爱他是伟大的
也许她根本不在乎你怎么为他付出
有时候你给他的爱或许是种负担
这种负担只会让他更加想远离你
因为他不想亏欠你
别事事为他担心为他张罗
你觉得他没有你不行
你觉得别人做不到你那么完善
但是你要清楚
你不是他要的那个人
你做的再完善也敌不过人家不做
那个位置本来就不是你的
你何必硬要挤上去呢
你说道理你都懂 只是你做不好
喜欢他不是你的错
想关心他不是你的错
控制不住自己不是你的错
但是那是你的方式
人家不一定就能接受你这种所谓无私的爱
所以如果你喜欢他 他不喜欢你
那么就请你默默的
别试图让他知道
就算你会难过 甚至难过的流泪
就请你默默的
就算是逼自己也好
一定要忍着
傻孩子.
忘了吧.所有你留恋的.你回忆的.你拥有过的.
那些.都已是记忆.
缺失并不可怕.
可怕的.是无法面对.

傻孩子.
你无法轻易忘记放弃.是因为你付出过.
付出了.她就会像柱子一样扎根在心.
不要刻意去逃避.刻意忘记.那只会让你更痛苦.
绕开这个柱子.寻找未来的幸福生活吧.
那里.有你的理想.

傻孩子.
开始新的习惯吧.
习惯.每天一个人生活.
习惯.一个人过生日.一个人行走.
习惯.走过熟悉的路.面对熟悉的景.
你逃不掉.逃不掉的.
那么.就勇敢面对.现实.
现实是.一切.画上了句点.

傻孩子.
勇敢看着镜子中的自己吧.
这个悲伤软弱满面憔悴的自己.
这也是你.成长中的你.
这个你.正在逐渐死去.
新的你.即将重生.
找寻你的路.你的未来.
你知道的.所有的浩劫.都是成长的祭奠.
做最好的自己.即使.一个人.

傻孩子.
好.好.尽情发泄吧.
剥开自己的心.用文字.用声音.用所有能发泄的方式.
泄完了.就要振作.
看吧.你失去的.其实微不足道.
还有那么多人关心着你.以不同的方式.
所以.你并不孤独.
正是这样的失去.让你看清现在所拥有的幸福.

傻孩子.
别哭.别再哭.
不值得.真的.不值得了.
把过去尘封吧.别委屈.别不甘心.别不接受.
开始新的旅程吧.去遇见新的风景.新的际遇.
做你该做的事吧.有很多事.等待着你完成呢.

傻孩子.
生活褪去了曾有的颜色.暂时宁静.
别沉沦在这片宁静里.那会毁掉你.
你要明白.虽然残忍.但这个决定.足够正确.
现在的生活.不是你想要的.
为了你的理想.你必须学会适时放弃.
给对方最好的关怀.就是.变的更好.更强大.更幸福.
现在我对你很好、很好、很好,你不需要、你无所谓、你不在 乎,你不珍惜。。。。
当某天,你被伤害,想起我。那时的我再也做不到像现在这样一 如既往、不顾一切的对你好了。。。
因为那时的我,已经将你放下。。。。
原来,放下一个人,最后是被对方逼出来的。。。

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so sick

cant stop coughing in the meeting last night.

finished meeting and reached home at 11p.m. something. Sandra was the one who send me home last night because Penny had to finished her things downstairs and won't back so early.
i was very suffer in Sandra's car. tried not to breath so that i won't cough inside her car, because there are 3 beauty managers sitting in the car, i did not want my virus to spread to them as they need to 'fight' during the weekends.
once i got out from the car, released, cough again. then the security guard asked me, 'sakit ar?' haha..

vincent msn me asking me something and then read my status message in msn, asked me to go to buy serup. i told him that i went to see doctor and the doctor gave me pills, but he said pills cant help much.
i listed down all the pills that doctor gave me, and found that the pills doctor gave me is.. damn!!
you know what, vincent said:

...anyway ur dr. is just a stupid rich guy
dont go to him anymore
just go pharmacy n buy the drug
i give u a prescription....
and he asked me to write down what i should buy from pharmacy today, and also, asked me to go to sleep =.=

that was the second time i visit the clinic at boulevard there. if you wanna ask my feedback on the first visit, i can definitely tell you that, i do not like the doctor, her way of treating patient and her attitude.. then i prefer to go to clinic which is not in our panel list, but, seems like it could be a big issue as my superior pulled me to starbucks and told me something..
actually, i don't care about the claim, i never think of wanna claim back the money, and, i don't mind to deduct my unpaid leave as i have no more annual leave to take. i just want to seek doctor advice or get the drug so that i won't suffer from the pain. (i was having a serious gastric that time)
hence, few days ago, when i suffer from running nose, sore throat and cough, when colleagues said that nowadays many virus attacked, asked me don't spread the virus in the office, and i decided to go to mid valley clinic.

i do not want to go boulevard clinic anymore because of my previous experience and tomoko's case. tomoko had to admitted to hospital immediately that time, but when she went to the clinic for checking, the doctor said that's nothing, even blood test also no need. luckily tomoko insist want to do the blood test. and, they don't even bother anymore. they told her that the result will come out at 6pm, but she wait until 8pm they still not yet tell her the result, when she called back and asked, they only checked. and called back to ask her to admitted to hospital immediately!! damn terrible right?

i thought i can go to the clinic inside mid valley megamall, but then Penny said the priority given is the boulevard one, she asked me to go to the boulevard clinic.

these are the pills i take for these few days:
  • cloperastine HCI
  • loratadine
  • chlorpheniramine
  • paracetamol
stupid me almost finish the pills, yes, almost, i left 1 each now!! and no any 'improvement'!! and vincent asked if i had fever because the doctor gave me paracetamol! WTH!! i still remember sky did tell me that the active in paracetamol is not really 'accurate' in each pill, and he asked me not to take it if not necessary.. but WTH stupid (oh no! not stupid! i'm the stupid one!) the smart clever doctor asked me to take 2 pills with the contains of 1000mg each!
i will never NEVER go to the clinic anymore!! the clinic at boulevard!! blacklisted!!

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The Law Of Attraction



EH shared this video on facebook. found it meaningful & interesting.

begin with 1 small step..
don't let others stand in your way..
walk your own path..
some may laugh..
so what..
many will follow..
don't ever give up..

success..
seems to be largely a matter of HANGING ON after others have let go..

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请别爱上这样的女孩,否则请深爱

请别爱这样的女孩。
  
她有点懒,她不擅长做家务。
  
她独立,也好强,她宁愿忍受太多的寂寞和痛苦也不愿意向 别人提起。
  
但其实骨子里,渴望有一个避风港湾,让她去依靠。但她不 会承认。
  
她必须确定那个人是否可以承受得了这一切的,承受她的 撒娇,她的无理取闹,她的倔强,她的悲观,她所有的性格缺陷 且永远不离不弃。
  
只有这样,她才放心,可以放心去继续做自己,不会害怕 有一天将要面对失去。如果没有,那么她只好继续寂寞和孤独。
  
她对爱情没有安全感,也不会给别人安全感。
  
她一定要对方先流露出对她有好感,她才散发她的热情。 她爱的永远是对她最好的那个,那个好她心里是有一个标准 的,你的积分超过了那条线,她会爱上你,但大多数人没超 过线之前就离开了,或者超过了之后没等她看到就离开了
  
其实她要的并不多,她要的只是一个温暖的家。对她来说 太重要了,虽然在她们口中说出来的却是:我不需要爱情
  
当你紧张他的异性朋友,她会一面跟你说,他只是我的谁谁 谁,却一面偷偷在意你的感受。。。
  
对她们而言,唯一具备杀伤力的只有感情,感情如果受到 挫折,要么毁了她们,要么成就了她们。从此更加漠然,专注于 事业。
  
她分手后完全不会像其他座在人面前要死要活,她嬉笑怒 闹,变得更加开朗。在听到朋友说有关他的话题时,从不刻 意回避,她适当参与,淡然微笑,她的表现总会遭人怀疑这 段感情的深浅,而人群中只有那些知道背后情节的人才看见她背 后的眼泪和努力。
  
  
  
她从来不会在情人面前大声哭泣,除非她真的崩溃了。
  
即使在你爱着她的时候,她也会胡思乱想让自己悲伤。
  
如果你看到她的眼泪,请相信这绝不是她在博取同情,这是 她这样一颗内心骄傲的女子不得己的场景。
  
她想对你负责,对她负责,对自己的过去和未来负责,但请 你不要轻易给她承诺和誓言。她很难相信。
  
即使她很难相信,但她还是会选择等待。
  
她的伤初始浓烈似酒,很快就会变为一杯水,却让水渗入 生活成为点点滴滴.她选择在其中淡定,在其中沉默和内伤。
  
她就是这样,强势,霸道,任性。。。
  
不会讨人欢心,死要面子,她爱朋友多过你。
  
她最有保护欲,最没有秘密。
  
最暴躁,最善变,最没耐心,最冲动,最耐不住寂寞却又喜 欢假惺惺的让自己一个人呆着。
  
有时候她又充满阳光的气息,爱笑爱说话,活蹦乱跳,可爱 迷人。。
  
她很自私,只愿意与人同甘,不愿意让别人跟她共苦。
  
她的家庭不一定很是富裕,但她都是习惯了养尊处优。
  
她喜欢热闹,总会成为聚会的焦点,前提是她想。
  
她也享受孤独,会静坐在一个人的房间听着很伤感的音乐。
  
她也会一整天呆在房间里心情压抑低落,但第二天一早起 来,又会轻轻松松的打理一切,慌慌忙忙的拽着大衣拎着包往外 冲。
  
她习惯在人前表现的很坚强,一付大女子主义的模样。
  
她会想,遇到真正懂她爱她宠她的人,她就一定就会很安 静,心甘情愿的安静下来,不烦,不闹,按时吃饭按时睡觉,按 时做一切能安心和他一起做的事情。
  
她从不轻言爱,她的爱很沉默,那并非是因为她缺少那份勇 气,在她的心里有一道栅栏,那就是自尊。
  
她看得比生命更尊贵的自尊。
  
  
  
如果有一个这样的女孩对你说她爱你,那就代表在她的心里 你的分量胜过了她的自尊。
  
你不了解她,不懂她的好,就别爱她。她会在真正爱她的 人面前卸掉所有的盔甲和伪装,做个幸福的小女人,她不要 求你要做什么,不会无理取闹要你陪着她,她有自己的生活,她 给你空间因为她也需要空间。
  
她也会幻想,在遇到真正的他时,会在他累的时候悄悄熬 上点营养粥,然后说,看你这么不辞劳累本姑娘心情又不错犒劳 犒劳你。
  
她在你面前永远性感调皮,偶尔撒撒娇,跟你玩陌生人的 游戏,在你的朋友面前从来大方得体,微笑的依偎在你身边。
  
她不让你给她买这买那,她会说,我啊,是大女人,不喜 欢男人给我买单。。。但是心里却会为你私自买给她的礼物而暗 自开心,因为女人觉得那是你的宠爱。
  
她在意的是你的心,你若真心,她必然实意。最起码你得表 现的真心,能让她感觉得到。
  
她会经常冒出些新鲜的想法来调剂生活,她的多变有时会让 你不安。
  
终有一天,她的敏感在你的呵护下慢慢消失不见,她的倔 强被你的保护软化,她的伪装在你面前被轻易识穿。。。
  
得到她,别骄傲,因为没人可以吃定她。
  
只有懂她的人,才会得到她的好。
  
她有时是有些迟钝的,在感情方面,但有时很敏感,因为她 在乎。
  
她有时想,当她遇上生命中的那个人,会爱的多么浓烈, 她渴望那种不计后果的极致,然后在强烈的碰撞中享受那种心痛 感。
  
  
  
所以,别爱这样的女孩,她太偏激,太虚伪,太粗心,又太 神经质,太难伺候,太不温柔。。。
  
如果你没勇气,没能力可以坚持爱她,就别爱她。
  
因为如果你会离开,她的心将会永远冰封,再也不会为任何 人打开。。。。。。

changes in FB

made the decision, finally..

deleted many 'friends' in facebook, and changed the name there!

once i edit the setting, my darling already sms me, asking if she did something made me angry, or else why she could not see my wall AGAIN! haha.. last time she was not allowed to view my wall because she is one of the dangerous people in my list :p

then the next morning, 333 msn me asked what happened to my fb. do you think the answer is acceptable if i say nothing? actually i was so shock when he msn me asking these questions. i never expect that he noticed it so fast :p

mm.. what have been changed?
the name? the friends? the privacy setting?
the heart actually!!

too dangerous to keep those people in my list. too dangerous to share my wall post with those people. too dangerous to let them know my news & my mood. too dangerous!!

and even here! this is a dangerous place to show my everything here! but i promised someone that i'll keep updating my news here and i don't want to break the promise..

mm.. not sure i really can switch back from aLLice to who i was during my primary school time.. without A-adorable, L-likable, L=lovely.. left back the cold ICE! smile with no temperature, cry with no tear, can't see any mood swinging on me anymore..

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MC

first time on medical leave at home.

went to work this morning, but then very suffering. my cute little colleagues keep asking me to go to see doctor, since nowadays is very 'dangerous' LOL

went to the clinic at boulevard there with the expectation that the doctor would not give me MC. however, i was wrong! the doctor is so kind this round! totally different with how she treat me last time! ok, maybe her mood was not good during my first visit.

reached home at 12 something, and fainted for the whole day. i supposed to switch off my hp, because so many calls disturbed me when i was pigging, but, i had no energy to move my body to get the phone and switch it off.

i wonder, why got those kind of people, oppss... should not be a bitch barking here.. have to control my temper.. don't think about the bad/sad/angry thing.. cold down..

mmm... was so touch when received sms from my pretty phoebe darling.. she was asking me if i want to eat something & she's gonna buy for me.. although it's a simple sms, but the sms is full with care & concern.. darling, don't treat me so good la, later i fall in love with you then how?! XD

then, received a concern call from malacca. yeah! that's my smart sweetie emma dearie! she read the post in my FB so called and asked if i'm still alive, hahaha... thanks emma.. i miss you so much! seems like the meet up before CNY is not so enough to heal the miss of me to you wor, how? when gonna meet again?

mm.. get tired easily.. i guess it might be the side effect of the medicine i take.. pray hard that i can recover soon..

good night :)

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gals nite out

15o42010

i've actually promised someone to accompany him, but then, i broke the promise, because, there's a small gathering with my sweet lovely gals.

at first, i never think that i could attend the gathering since i have an internal event the next morning, and i need to stay back for preparation as usual. but, i really wish that i could join them, we did not meet each other for quite some time already, i miss them! once i decided to go, i told my manager that i will leave the office at 6pm. her face seems like.. err... ok, nothing.. but, suddenly, tons of things to be done which did not appear the whole day until i wanna leave!
my face turned black and bibi was there offering her help, but i refused. thanks bibi, but i can settle by myself since the ''soldier'' did not appear when i need help, and only came up after i almost done & 'showed face' to me somemore!! damn!

i was late (for only 1 minute, shit!!) to get the 6.25 train. sorry to YY them who wait for me there in hunger :p
had our dinner at tamarind hill. it's a nice place to dine as the environment is good (except for the mosquito), the service is ok, the food is not bad, and the price is reasonable.
after we finished all the food on the table, the waitress asked us if we would like to have some dessert. echin straight away said, 'no, we are going to somewhere else to have it' wow!!
on the way went down, we 'passed by' & 'visited' neo there. echin said that the time when she came, there's lots of gays there =.= recalled me on the night mailbox's birthday when maison got a theme nite for gays. i went there, but did not see any of the familiar face. snow white was not there.

then, we came to the heaven of the concrete!! bar italia!! a place which is hidden behind changkat.. once we stepped in, we stopped in front of the galato, and look for our own favourite favour of very smooth galato.
went up, then, oh my god! it's different with downstairs! although it's not as what i imagined, but, it still give me a feel that this is the place we could really enjoyed ourselves this evening..
updating news from / for each other, chit-chatting with some wine. what's a relaxing nite i did not have for quite some time. temporary forgot about the sadness, the problem.

look up to the sky.. echin said, you will never see the dark sky in KL, even it's very late in the night.
the light brighten this concrete jungle, made it never fall asleep. i wonder, the poor pity jungle, does it feel tired? does someone share the care and concern with it? does some knows what it really want? no, nobody!

heard something that made me shock! unbelievable! and unacceptable! what we guessed during the time in upm is totally wrong! oh my god!! ok, i am not discriminate! give me some time, and i will slowly accept the truth.

as what we used to write at the end of essay when we studied, happy moment is flying fast, it was late enough to go back. 3 of us still need to work the next morning, while another 2 was in their holidays (that's why they asked us out during weekdays!! they no need to work!! >.<)

thanks echin purposely sent me back to sunway when they actually stay at KL :)
on the way back, we were talking about danielle nicole. YY said that she doesnt want to join us due to the reason that she becomes fat.
dear, if you read this post, please lah, this is what we all wanted to tell you, we are friends, we don't care how fat or how slim you are, we care only who you are, but not your appearance. really hope that you can join us in our next gathering!
or else, we will straight away go to klang to dig you out!!

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oh my god!!

discover something just now!!

it's unbelievable!!!
and unacceptable!!!
can't imagine that!!!
so shock!!!

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我只是一个小小的kampung gal,我的世界很简单,喜欢就是喜欢,不喜欢就不喜欢,开心就笑,心情不好就脸黑黑,自然就好。
很多人都在说,爱丽丝不会做人,是啊,我懂我这样的个性不能帮到我什么,反而让我很容易得罪人,可是,我不想改变,不,也许是害怕改变吧!我怕,改变后,我做不回自己,不想失去自我。

曾经,我是个开心乐观的人,在那些年,我就是我,根本不理会别人怎么想,反正我在过的是我的生活,不是你们的。
后来,残酷的现实,硬把我的头压低,倔强的我,是的,已经微微低下头了,可是,我不要,不甘,为什么我要来这里?为什么我会这样?
当察觉自己被现实的手拖着,随之步向虚假的道路上,脸上不懂什么时候多了张半透明的面具,我开始害怕,拼命想扯开那只拖着我的手,后来才发现,那只手根本一早已松开。
于是,我努力地逆向行走,希望可以回到最初,那个单纯简单的时候,可能吗?我不懂。我只能这样尝试,试着找回遗失的半个自己。

觉得累了。
活在这种宫心计般的生活,大家尔虞我诈地,适者生存。我,不想适应这样的生活,虽然我长得不好看,可是我不要带着假面具见人!

喝着红酒,涩涩的。
几米说,人生不就是这样吗?是吧。苦苦的,涩涩的。问他,为什么我要是这样的人,不要这样可以吗,我好辛苦!
他说我就是这样的人,如果我真的要变'坏',他会帮我。可是,我会更辛苦吧!我的脑想变坏,让心机重点,那么,我就可以做很多让自己快乐的事,可是,我的心,做不到吧!如果我真的可以狠下心来的话,我现在就不会这样辛苦了!

键盘湿了。视线模糊了。音乐还在重复播着。就像我的心,还在跳着。

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Echoes of the rainbow

softly sighs of the rainbow
misty songs of old
flowing by the skyline
my secret lullaby

softly sighs of the rainbow
stories seldom told
flowing by the skyline
my love songs never rhyme

i stand alone below
lingering by my secret rainbow
ah my secret rainbow

很多女生都是这样哦

share from facebook:

有一种女孩子在陌生人面前会很安静,很冷漠,
在熟人面前却很放肆,很霸道,
并喜欢一咋一呼的说:“滚,滚蛋,坏蛋,笨蛋”。
不要认为她很粗鲁,她只是很单纯的认为,
大家打打闹闹,骂骂笑笑,表示更亲切,更不分你我。

这一种女孩子偶尔看到街上的情侣时,
也会幻想,也会羡慕,
幻想着将来自己的恋爱
该是多么的帅气,多么的温柔,多么的甜蜜

这一种女孩子,
喜欢和自己的姐妹在一起打闹,大呼小叫。
即使没有男朋友,
在她的世界里,也有她的骄傲!

这种女孩子也会偶尔的忧郁,
朋友问她怎么了 她也只会说没事
其实她只是感觉累了,
她只是需要一个拥抱。

这样的女孩子恋爱的时候
喜欢大事听男孩子的而在小事上调皮,耍赖。
不要认为她太小气,蛮不讲理,
其实在她调皮的习惯里已经为你收敛不少!

这样的女孩子不允许男孩子的背叛,
如果男孩子真的办了对不起她的事,
她一定会狠心的离开你。
不要怪她太绝情,
她其实很爱你,但是卑微的爱情她不要,
她果断的转身只是不想让你看见她滑落的泪水!

这样的女孩子失恋的时候会在别人面前装的很好,
大声的笑,放声的闹。
当姐妹心疼的说:“你没事吧?”
她会放下她所有的骄傲,趴到姐妹怀里哭。
哭完了,苦笑一声:没想到我还会为一个男的哭。

若她喜欢上你,请你不要在她的世界里消失。
她没有更多的要求,不会打扰你的生活。
她只是想静静的看着你,
当你的观众,仅此而已。

如果你们已经在一起了,
请你好好珍惜她。
这样的女孩子、太傻,
请你别让她受伤。

08042010

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typed lots of things here, but deleted =.=

emma, i will go there on 17 & 18 this month? are you free to meet me up?

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memoire

suddenly..

thinking of grandpa..
i was sitting alone aside, looking of them, while they were playing pool..

when i was small, grandpa always bring me to bm hainam association..
i always sit beside him, looking at him when he played mahjong there..
sometimes, when he did not play the mahjong, we were just standing or sitting aside and looking at others who were playing the mahjong..

maybe joe felt that leaving me sitting alone there is not so good, but, he did not know that i really ok with that.. he made me flash back of some memory.. the memory with grandpa..
slurp the beer, it's bitter!! i miss the almond tea that grandpa used to buy me everytime when i followed him to the hainam association. the small little coffee shop is very old and close down soon i think. but the taste of the almond tea there will not 'close down' in my memory..

i know that grandpa did not want to spend too much of money, so when he was alone, he would just walk to the hainam association.. however, when i followed grandpa out, he would sometimes take a bus home because he knew that i was tired to walk so far.. even in the bus, he preferred to stand and let me sit if the bus left only 1 seat..
mum told me that grandpa brought me to take train when i was small, but the memory is totally disappear.. luckily, other memory with grandpa is still fresh in my mind, my heart..

on the way home, joe asked if i have something to say.. what i can say? can i ask him to ask grandpa back? or can i ask him to turn back the clock, i want to go back to the time when i was small?

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我终于知道女生为什么不敢去爱

this is another article someone shared on facebook:

男生爱上一个女生可以在一秒间发生,那是一见钟情;但是
女 生却不可以,女生必须在男女的相互了解中慢慢地建立感情。 当男生爱上女生时,女生也许才刚刚喜欢上男生;可当女 生渐渐地从喜欢升华到爱时,男生却因厌倦了而抽身离开。 男生的爱情就象龙卷风,来得很激烈却也走得很迅猛;女生 的爱情却是涓涓流水,细水长流,只会不断的汇聚成江、成海。

男生其实并不知道,女生从来不敢轻易去爱,因为女生的爱一 旦付出了就很难收回来,她害怕受伤害;女生总是先喜欢上 男生才会爱上男生,以为她明白男生的心里只知道谁是最爱, 却没有谁是唯一,所以她必须慎重的爱。当男生遇见爱情时,女 生其实一直都在等待爱情。

有人说,在错的时间遇上对的人,是一场伤心;在对的时间遇 上错的人,是一场叹息;在错的时间遇上错的人,是一场荒 唐;在对的时间遇上对的人,是一生幸福。可是我从来都不 相信那句所谓的“在对的时间遇上对的人”,我觉得经久的 爱情是需要不断的磨合与相互适应的。因为爱情总是存在着 时差,不是他早就是她晚,反正总是不同步。世界上最残忍 的东西莫过于时间,他让我们错过太多,也遗憾太多。有时 后我不禁要想,到底是时间在作弄着爱情,还是时间在考验着爱 情?没有人知道,只知道爱情的路不好走。

insomnia mid nite

oh my god!!

it's 3.3oam now!! i am still awake!!
will go back BM later, but i still not yet pack my stuff..

this is the first time i'm going back hometown because of the qingming festival (tomb sweeping day).

i was very proud past 20 years when many of my friends said that they have to go to pray their grannies.. because my grannies were still alive! yeah! they were still alive!!

until June 2009, maternal grandma passed away.
and Sept 2009, paternal grandpa passed away.

lots of things run in my mind, but i could not express how i feel..

life is fragile, but my grannies are all tough!!
and......


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sorry, i really don't know how to rearange this post.. don't know continue it now..

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allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan
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allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan