abnormal

abnormal abnormal abnormal!!
i want back the allice last time!!
come back please!!

even if pretend, allice's smile & laugh is a signature.
but what happened?
where the smile gone?
where is the 'ghost-like-laugh' of allice?

i lost them!
can't recall when i drop them!

today, a black dark face follows me the whole day.
i not really like to show this kind of face to everyone,
but sorry, i cant control..

ｉｆ　ｙｏｕ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｗｈｅｒｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｍｉｌｅ  &　ｔｈｅ　ｌａｕｇｈ　ｇｏ，　ｃａｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｔｅｌｌ　ｍｅ？

allice tan

bong gang

was writing letters to heaven just now,
to tell him my recent..

some childhood memory flashed back in my mind..
i saw his smile
while i was typing the letter..

it is just a short simple letter with a few words,
but it is actually converted from many things in my brain..

i never thought that the tears will drop when the last few words being typed out..
i never thought that i will sob like how i was just now..
it's all out of controlled!!

i am 'bong gang'!
choose to be a 'bong gang'
to be the 'bong gang' who can smile in tears..

allice tan

献给我最关心的兄弟

1. 每个人都有属于自己的一段故事…

2. 无论还在淌着血，还是已经结了疤，只有自己才明白当中的痛楚……

3. 伤，终究会复原，然后留下疤；故事，终究会成为过去，然后留下回忆……

4. 许久后的某天，蓦然回首，隐隐约约还感觉得到那曾经的苦，可是，那痛，已慢慢被涩的感觉取代……

5. 在强悍的铁人，还是有一颗柔弱的心……

6. 就算知道世事没有绝对的对与错，心中依然会有那份对你的愧疚……

7. 也许，注定了，我欠你，抑或是你欠我…… 答应彼此，我们都要好好过……

8. 没有谁不能失去谁，没有谁少了谁就活不下去，遇见彼此之前，我们不是都这样子活着吗？

9. 以为名字叫坏人，自己就可以当一辈子的坏人，遇见你，我才知道，我是好人，也是个坏人……

10. 朋友不经意的一句话，让我想起了你，那似曾相识的语气…… 撩起了心底那淡淡的苦涩……

11. 下雨的夜晚，冷冷的天气，灰灰的心情，我，又失眠了……

很熟悉的一段故事，却是你的历史，对不起，最近说了些不该说的话，撩起了你心里的那道伤……

你不是铁人，拯救世界的任务不必有你来扛！
对她，也一样！不是你欠她的！
你不是坏人，你是我永远的好朋友，好兄弟！

allice tan

The power of positive thinking

正面思考的威力

一個會做正面思考的人，不管人生怎麼坎坷，都會在每一個階段性的生命歷程中，創造出出­人意外的成就，享受履險如夷的驚奇過程。

永遠做正面的思考、說正面的話、做正面的事。因為正面思考會帶來好運，負面思考會帶來­災難。 正面思考不逃避，正面思考是面對問題，找出其可被接受的詮釋，輕鬆以對，換個腦角度看­事情。 如何培養正面思考的方式：

一、上床前： 1、拋棄今日所有的不愉快或是一切負面事物。 2、要計劃更美好亮麗的明天。3、建立新的好習慣，過快樂的生活。

二、清晨起床： 1、立即寫下夢。 2、上廁所排除身體與精神上所有汙穢物。3、刷牙時，照鏡子想到口腔清潔乾淨，今天整天要說好話。4、吃早餐時，吃下好食物，意想健康如意。5、出門時， 感到迎接好運，一片光明。6、上班時，感到神清氣爽，能量充滿，帶給自己與他人快樂。不管做什麼事時，都選擇一些相關的正面想法來思考，日積月累之後，無 論是真實的人生或­潛意識裡都會充滿正面的能量。

三、微小的負面念頭要常清理：這些念頭如 我怕我會做不好.......我大概要遲到了假使我的輪胎暴了呢不要說我明年就會轉運了-----正確的說法是：我現在就轉運了！．．．類似這樣的負面思 考，有時雖微不足道，但積久了，就會變成你生命的大困擾，也變成你成­功的絆腳石，讓你每天遇到不斷的麻煩，使你生活充滿挫折與不快樂。

四、知道如何走就會走到：生命中沒有意外或偶然，知道該怎麼做就去做，也就會做成功，­一切報都會按照計劃實現。

五、因果原則：只要你有信心去造好因，不 斷的用正面的念頭做正面的事，即使開始時完全­不懂，但你堅決對自己說，我要成功，你就會成功。

比尔·盖茨退休前写给青年人的十条忠告

1.
社会充满着不公平的现象。但你先不要想去改造它，只能先适应它。
（因为你管不了它。）


2.
世界不会在意你的自尊，人们看的只是你的成就。在你没有成就以前，切勿过分强调自尊。
(因为你越强调自尊，越对你不利。)


3.
你只是中学毕业，通常不会成为CEO，直到你把CEO职位拿到手为止。
（直到此时，人们才不会介意你只是中学毕业）


4.
当你陷入人为困境时，不要抱怨，你只能默默地吸取教训。
（你要悄悄地振作起来，重新奋起。）


5.
你要懂得：在没有你之前，你的父母并不像现在这样“乏味”。你应该想到，这是他们为了抚养你所付出的巨大代价。
（你永远要感恩和孝敬他们，才是硬道理。）


6.
在学校里，你考第几已不是那么重要，但进入社会却不然。不管你去哪里，都要分等排名。
（社会、公司要排名次是常见的事，要鼓起勇气竞争才对。）


7.
学校里有节假日，到公司打工则不然，你几乎不能休息，很少能轻松地过节假日。
（否则你职业生涯中一起跑就落后了，甚至会让你永远落后。）


8.
在学校，老师会帮助你学习，到公司却不会。如果你认为学校的老师要求你很严格，那是你还没有进入公司打工。因为，如果公司对你不严厉，你就要失业了。
（你必须清醒地认识到：公司比学校更要严格要求自己。）


9.
人们都喜欢看电视剧，但你不要看，那并不是你的生活。只要在公司工作，你是无暇看电视剧的。
（奉劝你不要看，否则你走上看电视连续剧之路，而且看得津津有味，那你将失去成功的资格。）


10.
永远不要在背后批评别人，尤其不能批评你的老板无知、刻薄和无能。
（因为这样的心态，会使你走上坎坷艰难的成长之路。）

你不知道的事

这样的天气，
这样的心情，
听着one fm播放王力宏的需要人陪，
406天后，再次见到你，
却没有机会跟你说出我的心底话，
没有机会告诉你
我有多想你，
打开那个给你的部落格，
简短地写下几个字，
重看之前写过的东西，
鼻子酸酸的，
也许就像部落格的标题那样，
这些都是
你不知道的事……

allice tan

WL day

totally no mood to work!
whole day being fai chai on the net, twitter, plurk & FB..

not because of my manger on leave.. it's because she throw too much on things on me..
everytime when she on leave, she will definitely list down a 2 pages of task for me to complete! and i know that i will definitely cannot finish all the task in the list.  y? besides the task she list down, i still have other task to complete! 物极必反！ she dunno that she will make me moody to work all the things out.

i already try my best to brain-washed myself to work hard in this company. i thought everything will be smooth this year. i really try to change my mindset. i try to adopt to this environment. try to be used with this kind of culture. but why everytime also because of her. turn all my positive down?

really no mood to work today. WL + i.N.G...

allice tan

放不下

那时，看到你post的 “我放不下......” 这几个字，心里揪了一下。
你说 “你心里想的歌——你不知道的事”。

很多东西，其实可以很简单，也可以很复杂。
想要简简单单地过，可是，我的脑、我的心，却会把事情想得很复杂。
女人，呵，非常没有安全感的女人。

我就是喜欢跟你唱反调，就是那么皮，怎样？
你喜欢我长头发，我就偏要把头发剪短，虽然有点舍不得；
你送我的狗狗，虽然心里有点感动，有点甜，我偏要说我不喜欢公仔，哼！
知道你会担心，我就是不告诉你我究竟怎么了。

如果你真的了解我，如果你真的对我有那一份关心、那一点爱，
你应该明白这是因为我的刺猬个性在作怪。

可是算了！
你不会明白为什么我急着下车，为什么我不和你好好聊一聊！
你永远都不会明白。

也许，我要的结局已经到来。
当你的那一句话，让我刚结疤的心再次淌血……
“做不成一辈子的情人，我还希望做你一辈子的朋友”

对自己说，不可以再落泪，可是，泪还是不听话的掉下。
告诉自己，这是最好的结果了，虽然，心有点痛。
可是爱丽丝，这是你的选择，你没什么好怨的。
祝福他，祝福她，祝福你自己，大家都会幸福的……

allice tan

你不知道的事

我。还是。很。在意。

不想。对号入座。
可是。偏偏。

心。就是。那么。痛。

allice tan

星星消失了..

如果月亮聽到星星的情話,
也許星星就不會突然消失..
如果星星沒有愛上月亮,
她應該會無憂無慮地在夜空飛舞吧..
奈何,她遇見了月亮,
遇到了愛情..
在得不到月亮的回應下,
她選擇了離開..
跟隨淚滴, 化作流星, 消失在夜空..

allice tan

at Bee-aM

on leave for a week.
and now at home @ BM.

allice tan

gonna be scolded by buddies

i know! they definitely will do so. because of my stupid & my stubborn & my 一意孤行..

i left my signature on the contract.. yup, i renewed my contract with the company..

when cuz asked me why, i said that i have to face the truth.. and.. maybe, i had been brain washed.. and only J know the real reason.. only she will understand why i made this decision..

No sacrifice, no victory.

i do believe so..

guys, i know you all have no more energy to 'say' me already, just pray for me and wish me luck la!
especially LS, still remember the phrase -- No sacrifice, no victory. this is what you told me. so you have to support me no matter how :p

allice tan

我不難過

read a post on FB shared by my darling's friend..

难过了，不要告诉别人
难过了，静静的蹲下来抱着自己，让眼泪尽情的洒落
难过了，拿着镜子看看此刻的自己，让真实浮现眼前
难过了，默默的将自己隐藏起来，让空虚掩盖一切
难过了，闭眼倾听周围的声音，让自己沉浸在喧嚣中
难过了，不必告诉别人，自己的悲伤为何要别人也承担呢
难过了，可以假装快乐，和别人一起兴奋时就能遗忘了自己

难过了，仍然安慰别的伤心者，你会发现自己也在受益，当局者迷而已
有谁不曾难过
有谁还会记得
过去的不再从来
又何必去苦想
忘掉…
用微笑渲泄悲伤

and it made me recall of a song by stephanie sun yanzi

我不難過　這不算什麼　只是為什麼眼淚會流我也不懂

i always tell them don't worry, no need to care, no need to mind..
but, i mind! i really mind! f*cking mind!!


i not sure if i can perfectly cover it with my smile everytime when talking about the case..
not sure if yo, nt, hl, eg, mw, jy & whoever know about the case, found my real feeling when we talked about it.. what i wanna say is.. do not expose my mask, please..

我不難過 i am not sad..

allice tan

tired

feel tired recently.

no matter how many hours i sleep a night, i still feel that i have not enough sleep, even i change my sleeping time earlier to 10sth pm.

ya, rarely online at night. hence, the active TSL in FB seems like going to disappear. no more 'i.N.G.' appear in your FB homepage, as my status message could stay for 1 week unchanged.

heart is so tired after the pain. i could say nothing on this because this is the consequence of my stubbornness! i should listen to EH's advice, but i didn't. however, if i say that i have no regret on it, do you believe? if there's another chance for me to choose, i will still make the same decision to try. ok, this is me, the stubborn me, i never deny.

brain was the most pity part as it has to think of many things.

a good friend who i really treat with heart, has blocked me on her FB and MSN. i don't know how to describe my feel now, but this is her choice, i have to respect. someone asked me to ask her, but, sorry, my face is not thick enough, and i will not use my hot face to stick her cold buttock! (a phrase translated from chinese) i lost a good friend.

i will divorce end of July. Looking for a new job at the same time upgrading myself by taking some courses, although my financial status is not so stable yet. Was dilemma that time when my 'head' asked me to re-consider, and told me that i can take the course as part time, yea, sure the courses i will take is part time course! i need to have a job for survive, but i think my future is not there, a company with kind bosses and colleagues, where they always try to protect us, treat us like their kids. they don't know that kids need to fall down sometimes, then only know how to walk.

when everyone ask me whether i found a new job yet, my answer is i not really start my job searching. i have earlier sent my resume to a company at mid valley and went for interviews, and i found that i am really... really need to grow up!!

august is coming soon. joyce asked me to go home for a small rest at the same time accompany dad & mum for 1 or 2 weeks then only start with my new job if i found. her suggestion is to search at penang as i no need to worry about transport there because her SLK is there. or another choice, i can go to SG, can stay with her.but i am still waiting for the date to the new courses start.

actually plan to take MBA at UM, but the qualification is 3 years working experience after graduate. maybe, i can wait for another year??

my brain is busy with all this kind of nonsense!
worry this worry that, fan this fan that!
so funny! i want to stop it, but it seems like i cannot control myself to stop thinking.

luckily, i found a secret to make myself better and it works!!
thanks god! i am now driving my life to somewhere nice and colourful, although the sky is still dark, but don't forget that every car has its own lights!!

p(^.^)q

allice tan

如果他真的愛妳

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他冷落妳不會超過三天，
因為想念妳的日子很難度過 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會給妳一個甜蜜的稱呼，
只屬於他一個人喊的稱呼 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，會令你溶入他的生活，
決不會相愛多年後，還讓妳妾身未明 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會把妳當孩子般寵愛，
但是自己又說不出寵妳的原因…

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳開心快樂，
捨不得讓妳流淚 ..

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機會24小時為妳開機，
隨時隨地讓妳能夠找到他 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會覺得妳是最好的，
不會將妳和其他女人做比較，即便妳並不優秀 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會抽出時間來陪妳，
即使自己真的很忙，因為他看不見妳會很想妳.....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他不會要求妳減肥，
因為他把妳的身體健康看作第一位 .........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會很想和妳生活在一起，
會把妳看成是生命中最重要的 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會經常緊緊地抱著妳，
讓妳感受他的心跳 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會在妳睡著的時候輕輕吻妳，
因為妳是他的天使 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳買妳喜歡的東西，
並且很高興陪妳逛街 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會對妳的家人、朋友都很好，
喜歡融入到他們當中 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會默默地為妳付出一切，
但很少讓妳知道他所做的犧牲 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會看妳吃飯的時候傻笑，
然後把好吃都留給妳吃…

如果一個男人愛妳，他會不厭其煩提醒妳吃飯，穿衣服，
聽妳說「煩了」，他還是要提醒妳，因為妳是他的一切

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會記住妳說的每句話，
哪怕是一句小玩笑，他也會放心�。
然後努力改變自己的生活習慣。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，在妳過馬路的時候會拉著妳的手，
怕妳橫衝直撞出什麼事，所以不要甩開他的手。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機�都是關於妳的東西，
想妳的時候會對著手機傻笑，

妳是他最美好的幸福 ...

nothing

when i reply your sms with the word 'nothing', please do not ask me again, although you know that there's something happened.

i have nothing, really nothing..
besides the 'bottomless' tears..

when i cried in the midnight, my accompanier is only the so called 'concern' (which i felt 'scold' is the more suitable word to be used) from singapore. and that's one of the reasons made my tears ''leaking''.

even till now, i still feel that i am no wrong.. maybe the song 'i am what i am' from oceanlab is really a song dedicated for me..
don't ever try to change me! i am 25 now! i know what i am doing! i have my own way to go.. don't simply believe what i said sometimes.. i could hardly tell you all what i wanna be, because you all never give me support! everytime when i say i wanna do something or when i tell you all what my dream is, what i receive is only the 'cold water' that you all pour!
without any positive/support, please do not show your 'concern' by telling me how i should do! (thanks)

back to the situation last night. should i blame my hp? the stupid hp! i only receive the sms at 3sth am! and then only i noticed that there's more than 30 missed calls!!

anyway, no matter what or who i should blame, i understand the feeling that being helpless，sorry...

allice tan

柴米油盐酱醋茶

柴米油盐酱醋茶 by 王力宏

對有些人而言　　有時

能遇見一個對的人　過著簡單平凡的一生　是最難得的幸福

把 握當下　珍惜彼此

在柴米油鹽醬醋茶裡蘊釀著永恆的愛

品嚐生命中的每一份感動、每一份親情、每一段友誼

每一次愛情、每一次得到

每 一次窩心的溫暖、每一次觸目所及的美好…

這就是幸福

小时候 你想要什么

我要一台大大蓝色的飞机

带我环游世界

到 地球每一个角落

在蓝天白云中穿梭

而长大以后 我想要什么

我要一台小小红色答录机

和你一起录下

喂 我们现在不在家

蓝色变成红色因为你

柴米油盐酱醋茶

一点一滴都是幸福在发芽

月儿弯弯爱的傻

有了你什么都不 差

小时候 你想要什么

我要一台大大蓝色的飞机

带我环游世界

去地球每一个角落

在蓝天白云中穿梭

噢 长大以后 我想要什么

我要一台小小红色答录机

和你一起录下

喂 我们现在不在家

蓝色变成红色因为你

柴米 油盐酱醋茶

一点一滴都是幸福在发芽

月儿弯弯爱的傻

有了你什么都不差

给你快乐无论白天黑夜

握紧双手就算刮 风下雨

我就是要你

要你待在我身边

保护你直到永远

柴米油盐酱醋茶

一点一滴都是幸福在发芽

月儿弯弯 爱的傻

有了你什么都不差

月儿弯弯爱的傻

没有一个理由

活的那么复杂

有了你什么都不差

icy

i could feel the changes...

it's pain.. in my heart..
but i guess..
this is the best way..
to become an ice..
and to accept the ice that you throw on me..

allice tan

the divorce

2 months ago, i made a decision to divorce.
some of my friends asked me to think properly while most of my friends congratulated me once they heard the news. they know that i made the decision not because of impulse.

few month ago before chinese new year, i already had an 'arguement' with jim when i said that i don't want to work here anymore. he said that i am impulsive, but i denied. i am not!!

although i know that this is the job that i loved, although i know most of the people here are good, but i don't know since when, i felt that many things had changed, changed until the fear overtake my passion.

i don't know when should i believe someone's words and don't know who should i believe. i know that i should protect myself by not to believe what they said, this is what yoshi always tell me, don't believe anyone, as you will get hurt. i really so scared of getting hurt. i can't forget the time when aiwa came to office and talked those things to my manager! wtf! she was my friend, but what she did! how can she did this to me!! i thought friend is a person we should appreciate but not betray!

anyhow, i have lots of good friends beside me during the time i face difficulty. thanks guys who always accompany me, be there with me, and help me. you guys are deeply appreciated always. i won't forget how kind you guys treat me as a FRIEND, real friend, especially my buddies and sistas..

mmm... talk back to the divorce.

i met back alvin during the farewell for zen. he told me how he's doing now, and encourage me to do what i want. that is my future, my life! i should not be influenced by others.

then, i found my way out. i plan on doing something, but i did not tell anyone except sky. and accidentally told my manager when she asked me just now. she said that i can do it as a part-time and i can continue what i am doing now. she just felt that's a waste if i give up what i've built up during this 2 years. and asked me to reconsider.

i know that i can get a good opportunity here, i know that i still have lots of things to learn here, i know that i have good bosses and superior here, i know all these...i do really know...

but... should i really need to reconsider whether or not i want to divorce?

allice tan

唯一

每一天，
都是唯一的一天；
每一秒，
也是唯一的一秒。
再短暫的瞬間、秒間，
都要慎重認真運用。

時間分秒流逝，人生每一天，都是唯一的一天；
每一秒鐘，也都 是唯一的一秒鐘；
每一秒鐘的過程中，都有一大事因緣。
因此不論是再短暫的瞬間、 秒間，都 要慎重認真，好好利用。
切莫迷迷茫茫、不知不覺，讓時間白白流逝。

人生一切困難，難在人心自我障礙，使得事事困難、步步困難。 

其實人人都有無限力量，若能調伏自心，發大心、立宏願，難行能行，自然就能克服 種種困 難；反之，心不調伏，哪怕很簡單的事情，也會自我障礙，變成很困難。

「法」譬如船，可以將人從凡夫的此岸，度到聖人的彼岸。 

人人 都有清淨覺性，都可以自度；但坐著聽法、沒有投入去做，難以體悟。

若能用單純的 心，精進 投入付出，即使做得汗流浹背，卻能體悟到輕安自在的法喜，不只自度，且能度人。

人間共業牽引，即使無法為天下做什麼事，至少可以把自己的心 調好。

無論點、線、面，都是從最小那一點開始——最小的那一點，就是 他、你、我的一念 心。

人人每一個起心動念，都要謹慎。

人生能平坦無阻，是幸；

順暢無難，是福。

能時時刻刻平順安度，就是幸福；

幸福的人生，要事事感恩、分秒感恩。

有福生在平安的地方，期待人人發好心、立好願，恆持當下好 念，時刻戒慎虔誠，造福人間！

◎證嚴上人主講 編輯部整理
講於二○一○年六月十三日至二十一日
http://www.newdaai.tv/culture/?mod=tc_monthly&act=detail&id=1619

如果你在乎我,可不可以让我知道

something share by cousin on facebook:

如果，你在乎我。
可不可以让我知道，不要总是让我找你，
那会让我感觉，你根本就不在意我。


如果你在乎我，就不要总是让我孤单一个人，我真的很讨厌

寂 寞。


如果，你在乎我。
记得多关心我关心我，我喜欢你问我今天做了什么，
而不是自己一个劲地告诉你，我今天怎么了。


如果，你在乎我。
在我情绪低落，心情郁闷的时候，要多讲话逗逗我，
不要一直的沉默，其实，只要你一句话，我就会很开心了。


如果，你在乎我。
在我生你气的时候，绝对不可以想着我在生气，就不理会我。
这样，我会很伤心，也会更生气，其实，我只是想你哄哄我。


如果，你在乎我。
不要总是回我 呵呵 哦 这类的话语，就算你不想说话，也要多打几个字，不要让我感觉你是在敷衍我。


如果，你在乎我。不要让我在需要你的时候，却找不到你，那样 的我很无助。


如果，你在乎我。要记住我们在一起发生的事情，要记住我的喜 好。


如果，你在乎我。
不管是好是坏的事情，我都想你可以告诉我，
让我分享你的快乐，分担你的忧愁。


如果，你在乎我。
你会想办法，让我每天都开开心心的吧？
如果我在乎你，我也可以做到。

23062010

as prediction, woke up with swollen eyes

on the way to work, onefm was playing a song sing by 梁文音, a song that meant a lot to me -- 哭过就好.
and on my facebook, i post ''i know. i cry. i understand. i let go.'' i know that it's not easy to let go, but i have no choice, i have to, because this is her decision. i have no right to be disappointed, as this is a result of my mistaken, a wrong decision i made, so i have to face it, eventhough the situation now is not as what i aspect. won't regret even the 'try' failed, at least i tried.

did not go post office because of some reasons.
the situation in meeting room at 11am is as how i predicted, it was very cold and my stomach was growling =.=

my hot date with ms. c thc was on! planned to dine at lorong seratus tahun, but then when j & c came to my house, the shop was almost close, hence, we dined at station one at sunway. then, g came after badminton, and then t came.
after quite some time, i did not go club, and today, they brought me there again, cocoa banana. haha.. i entered cocoa banana with my nerd look with spec! hahaha..
ermm.. why i club again? i did not forget the promise, but as how someone told me, i cannot hold my stupid principle because of that reason, i should not bear so much of things, should slowly put down some. and i am trying now.

i am always so lucky actually. i always have friends beside me when i have problems, when i am down, and sure when i am happy lah ^.^
really thanks 4 of them for the night they were with me!

C, J, G & T, thanks you guys so much!!

allice tan

prediction 23062010

now is 3.00am on 23 June 2010

the prediction started here..

early in the morning
8.00am
working hard on the result of crying last nite -- my swollen eyes (the eyes are red somemore!! how to cover? arghhhhh)


9.30am
office is loaded with aroma of nescafe

10.30am
time to exercise! walk walk walk! walk to post office and walk back..

11.10am
in a quiet meeting room, me & my manager are having meeting in a quiet + cold meeting room.. and.. there's a weird sound here.. someone's stomach is growling.. oppsss.. it's mine!! >.<

afternoon
1.40pm
take a fresh breath & have something to fed the poor little empty stomach..

3.00pm
aroma of nescafe, again, filled the office..

6.00pm
date ms.C THC

................


cant see the pic clear now.. brain said it dun wan 2 think anymore..
so that's all for prediction today..

allice tan

梁继璋送给儿子的备忘录

(注明：香港电台主持人梁继璋送给儿子的备忘录）

我儿:

写这备忘录给你，基于三个原则：
(一）人生福祸无常，谁也不知可以活多久，有些事情还是早一 点说好。

(二）我是你的父亲，我不跟你说，没有人会跟你说。
(三）这备忘录里记载的，都是我经过惨痛失败得回来的体验， 可以为你的成长省回不少冤枉路。

以下，便是你在人生中要好好记住的事：

（一）对你不好的人，你不要太介怀，在你一生中，没有人有义务要对你好，除了我和你妈妈。至于那些对你好的人，你除了要珍惜、感恩外，也请多防备一点，因为，每个人做每件事，总有一个原因，他对你好，未必真的是因为喜欢你，请你必须搞清楚，而不必太快将对方看作真朋友。

（二）没有人是不可代替，没有东西是必须拥有。看透了这一 点，将来你身边的人不再要你，或许失去了世间上最爱的一切 时，也应该明白，这并不是甚么大不了的事。

（三）生命是短暂的，今日你还在浪费着生命，明日会发觉生 命已远离你了。因此，愈早珍惜生命，你享受生命的日子也愈 多，与其盼望长寿，倒不如早点享受。

（四）世界上并没有最爱这回事，爱情只是一种霎时的感觉， 而这感觉绝对会随时日、心境而改变。如果你的所谓最爱离 开你，请耐心地等候一下，让时日慢慢冲洗，让心灵慢慢沉 淀，你的苦就会慢慢淡化。不要过分憧憬爱情的美，不要过分夸 大失恋的悲。

（五）虽然，很多有成就的人士都有受过很多教育，但并不等 如不用功读书，就一定可以成功。你学到的知识，就是你拥 有的武器。人，可以白手兴家，但不可以手无寸铁，紧记！

（六）我不会要求你供养我下半辈子，同样地我也不会供养你 的下半辈子，当你长大到可以独立的时候，我的责任已经完 结。以后，你要坐巴士还是Benz，吃鱼翅还是粉丝，都要自己负责。

（七）你可以要求自己守信，但不能要求别人守信，你可以要求自己对人好，但不能期待人家对你好。你怎样对人，并不代表人家就会怎样对你，如果看不透这一点，你只会徒添不必要的烦恼。

（八）我买了十多二十年六合彩，还是一穷二白，连三奖也没 有中，这证明人要发达，还是要努力工作才可以，世界上并没有免费午餐。

（九）亲人只有一次的缘份，无论这辈子我和你会相处多久， 也请好好珍惜共聚的时光，下辈子，无论爱与不爱，都不会再见 。

溶化了

心，不懂怎么，怪怪地，
好像突然被挖空了似的…

一直说，简单就好……
简单，说当然简单啊！
可，我就是做不到嘛！

有人说，我不曾尝试，
不愿尝试，就说不能…
有谁懂，我一直在试，
努力逼自己做到这点，
但，我的尝试失败了…

从来都不抱任何希望，
因为我懂，那是奢望…

希望破灭也许会很伤，
当一个人连希望破灭的机会也没有的时候，
就像，就像…　像什么呢？我也形容不出…

唉，算了…
就让它这样怪下去吧，
反正久了就会习惯了…

也不懂自己在胡言乱语什么，
这几天，冰块溶化了…
失去了自己原本的形状…

allice tan

I am What I am!!

Above & Beyond pres. Oceanlab - I Am What I Am



I know you've read
So many books
You keep a breast of all the things you think you should
You've got your own home grown philosophy
And it works for you
But please don't try to make it work for me

You have nothing to prove
But you're trying much too hard
Stop trying to change me (Stop trying to change me…)
I am what I am (I am what I am…)
No I don't need you to save me (I don't need you to save me…)
I am what I am (I am what I am…)

I don't want you to show me (I don't need you to show me…)
Because I stand where I stand (I stand where I stand…)
I just need you to know me (just need you to know me)
Just know who I am (Just know who I am…)

Just know who I am...
Just know who I am...

I know you feel
You need to prove
That you are good at something
Everything you try to do
And people have on your every word
That you deliver
With conviction
Though they may just be absurd

Leave your armor behind
Free your vulnerable mind

Stop trying to change me (Stop trying to change me…)
I am what I am (I am what I am…)
No I don't need you to save me (I don't need you to save me…)
I am what I am (I am what I am…)
I don't want you to show me (I don't need you to show me…)
Because I stand where I stand (I stand where I stand…)
I just need you to know me (just need you to know me)
Just know who I am (Just know who I am…)

Just know who I am...
Just know who I am...

sista

i have 2 younger sisters. both of them born in the 1st week of June. and both of them called Chris.
my 'blood' sister called me 'san1 jie3' & another sister who has no 'blood-related' one called me 'ah jie2'.

that day, i had dinner with my no-blood-related sister. it had been around 2 years that we did not meet up. but still, she is so cool & so warm. cool in her character, and warm in her heart.
although she is the younger one, the care & concern she shares is much more than how i could give her. i am so lucky to know her in 2005. oh my god! i know her for 5 years already!! time flies..

still remember that time when we stay in small little room in KC, she & our no-blood-related mother always take care of me. they helped me in lots of things when the stupid me got into trouble. when i was sick, especially that time, when i walked alone to pusat perubatan, and fainted there for hours, sis came & accompanied me back to our hostel. on the way back, i almost faint again, kneel down at the roadside, can't speak, can't hear, can't see... she was so worried, kept asking if i still ok to go back or need to go to pusat perubatan again. i ended up manage to walk back hostel & fainted again on my bed once i entered the room.

when we moved out from KC, i did not stay together with them, my family in serdang, but they never stop their concern to me. when they know that i have not enough money, they invited me to have lunch or dinner at their house. i could not forget the lovely food prepared by my family there. and when they know that i got problem, they always help me to solve or give me idea or suggestion. once, when i disappeared, they were being asked by my coursemates, and they kept calling me eventhough they knew that i've already switched off my handphone, especially my sister. i was so guilty to make her & ah ma worry.

sister called me and asked if i am still at mid valley. she was there! surprise & excited! since she is so busy with her work.
we had our dinner at the korean store there and kept talking. or, maybe can say as i was the one who can't stop talking. when talked about our recently life, she 心疼 me, and said, ah jie, you are too tired, you need a rest. she wanted to sponsor me to go to find ah ma! what's a good sister i have!

time flies & changes lots of things, but her care & concern is still there! my first tear dropped that night when she show her care to me, and willing to help me in any method i want, i just need to open my mouth. touch.

she wanted me to promise her something, and i really tried my best to keep the promise.
and she, really keep her words.. does what she said everyday..

yogai! my sister asked me not to scare you all, must fight back! and  she is there willing to give me support! hence, i should not be like that anymore!! i will stand up on my own foot!!

sis, thx ya so much! luv ya!

allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan allice tan

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思想轉換 - 心態的力量 【The strength of mindset】

女兒向父親抱怨，事事都很艱難。
A daughtercomplains toward the father, everything is difficult.

她不知如何應付生活，好像一個問題剛剛解決，新的問題又會 出現，她有些厭倦。
She finds it hard to cope with life, seem a problem just resolve, the new problem appeared again, she was tired.

父親是一位廚師，把她帶進廚房。
Her father is a cook, bring her into the kitchen.

他先往三口鍋裡倒入一些水，然後放在旺火上。
He goes toward first to pour into some waters in 3 pots, then puts on the fire.

不久，水開了。
Soon, water boiling.

他往第一口鍋裡放一些胡蘿蔔，第二口鍋裡放入雞蛋，第三口 鍋裡放入碾成粉末的咖啡豆。
He put some carrots in the first pot, put an egg into the second pot, put some coffee powder into the third pot.



20分鐘後，父親把火關了，把胡蘿蔔撈出來，放入一個碗內， 把雞蛋撈出來，放入一個鍋內，然後把咖啡舀到一個杯子裡。
20 minutes later, father off the fire, take out the carrot. Go to the second pot take out the egg, and  then ladling up the coffee to a cup.

父親轉身問女兒：
The father turned to ask his daughter:


「孩子，你看到了什麼？」
'Kid, what do you come in sight of?'

「胡蘿蔔，雞蛋，咖啡。」她說。
「Carrot, egg, coffee」She say.

他讓她靠近一些，摸摸胡蘿蔔。
He lets her come closer to touch the carrot.

她注意到他它們變軟了。
She noticed the carot become soft.

父親又讓女兒拿一個雞蛋，打破它，剝掉殼，這是一個煮熟的 雞蛋。
The father lets the daughter take the egg, breaking it, peel the egg shell,this is a cooked egg.

最後，父親讓她喝了一口咖啡。
Last, the father lets her drink a mouthful of coffee.

嘗到濃濃的咖啡，女兒笑了，怯聲問道：
Taste to the very thick coffee, the daughter smile, she asked:

「父親，這意味著什麼？」
'Father, what does this mean?'

父親說，三樣東西面臨同樣的逆境——煮沸的開水。
The father says three things face same adverse circumstances-boiling water.

但其反映各不相同。
But its reflection is not same.



胡蘿蔔入鍋前是強壯的、結實的，放進開水，它變軟了、變弱 了。
The carrot, before put in to the pot, it is strong and hard, after putting into the boiled water, it become soft,become weak.


雞蛋原來是易碎的，薄薄的外殼保護著液態的內臟，開水一煮， 內臟變硬。
The egg is originally crumbly, the very thin outer shell protects the internal organs of the liquid, once  the boiled water cook, the internal organs become hard.

粉狀咖啡豆則很獨特，進入沸水，它們便改變了水。
The coffee bean powder then is very special, entering boiling water, they changed the water then.



在艱難和逆境前，可以學胡蘿蔔、雞蛋和咖啡豆，可以屈服，
也可以變得更堅強——甚至，可以改變環境。
We can learn how carrot,egg and coffee bean react in the difficulties and adverse circumstances.  They can accept defeat, can become stronger, and even can change environment/surrounding.


父親說：
The father say:

你改變不了環境，但可以改變自己；
Your cannot change the environment, but can change yourself;

你改變不了事實，但可以改變態度；
Your cannot change the fact, but can change an attitude;

你改變不了過去，但可以改變現在；
Your cannot change the past, but can change the present;

你不能控制他人，但可以掌握自己；
You have no command over others, but can control yourself;

你不能預知明天，但可以把握今天；
You can't predict tomorrow, but can hold on today;

你不能樣樣順利，但可以事實盡心；
You can't be doing smooth and well in everything, but can devote your best effort;

你不能左右天氣，但可以改變心情；
You can't change weather, but can change a mood;

你不能改變容貌，但可以展現笑容；
You can't change facial appearance, but can emerge with smiling face;


是的，心態有時比什麼都重要。
Yes, the mindset sometimes is important compares with others.

短暂的幸福

我的世界  仿佛静止在这一刻。

暖暖的Caramel Macchiato包围了整个我，把我与那个冰冷的世界隔离。

什么都不想，就这样，静静地，在昏黄的灯光下，听着音乐，享受着最爱的星巴克，写着最爱的方块字。

已有好一阵子没有像现在这样一个人了。
还记得以前在沙登的时候，要么就跑去The Mines去看电影，要么就到湖边跑步然后坐着发呆。离开沙登搬到双威后，做工了，每次回到双威的时候都已经很迟了，没能跑步，就换去喝咖啡了。

不是没有朋友，也许就像联盛说的，找朋友聊，然后呢？听他们说那大同小异的话，接受他们的安慰，然后呢？问题还是存在啊！也许，发泄出来后的那一刻会好过一点，可是，当你回想的时候，其实什么都没改变。

所以啊，我现在只是想给自己放个假，短暂的，数个小时的假。

Starbucks，不懂有什么魔法，让我每次来到，就可以很自然地放松。
一个人的星巴克，不需要开口说话，不需要担心这个，顾虑那个，不需要刻意做些什么，什么都不必做，不必想。

曾经  有个人告诉我，他爱喝涩涩的红酒，因为那涩涩的感觉，就好像人生。
我倒觉得桌上这杯Caramel Macchiato更可以贴切地用来形容人生。

最底层的Espresso，就像生活中的考验，有人会认为很苦，可是，只有真正懂得欣赏Espresso的人才知道，Espresso其实是带甜的。有些人受不了Espresso的那股劲，选择吐出来，或不喝了。就像有些人接受不了生活中的打击，崩溃了，放弃了，走上绝路。
中间的那一层牛奶，是平淡的日子。
最表面的那一层foam，就是平凡生活中小小的惊喜。
好多人都爱的caramel dizzle，就像人人都追求的幸福。
一层层的Caramel Macchiato，不也像人生不同的阶段吗？

好久没用手写方块字了，字体还是一样小，一样圆。
人家说字体小的人很小器。如果是这样的话，我不只是很小器，还很圆滑，可是我是吗？一个圆滑的人，人缘应该很好，朋友应该很多吧？应该不会像我这样时常得罪人吧？呵呵......

那位美女barista进来收拾东西后要出去了，当她打开门的那一刻，我才发现，外面的世界好喧哗。而我们被关在这个玻璃门里，好像真的与世隔绝。除了从播音器发出的音乐声外，就只有最后面桌所传来的敲键盘声。两个陌生人在这么一个没人干扰的空间里，享受着吵杂中的宁静。

桌上的咖啡，冷了。可是我的心是暖的。

也许没有人能体会星巴克所可以给我带来的那种感觉。
也许你觉得很不可思议。
也许你在怀疑。



此时此刻，我在咖啡香里找到被遗忘的幸福。


2010.5.21 10.37pm 愛麗絲 @ Starbucks, Sunway Pyramid

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3

i posted the blog 3 years ago..
when orange & 333 broke up.
was very angry that time when 333 treated orange like that.. they were so sweet & happy when the time we at bm, but how come the situation changed like that? it's very difficult for me to accept.. i felt that orange was very pity.. but i never think from 333 & sam side that time.. hence, i never know how suffer 333 & sam were.. the suffer that 333 passed through.. the suffer that sam experienced.. so, i owe them an apologize..

Sorry 333 & sam.. my sincere apologize to both of you..
i'm so glad to know the sweetness of you two via Facebook, especially the malacca trip that 333 waited for long time! i can feel how sweet the trip was via the photos :)

not sure you guys will read this post or not, but i am just.. just.. wanna say sorry.. i not dare to dig back the old story when chatting with you.. not dare say it in front of you..please forgive this little chicken..

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Green Day - 21 Guns

Do you know what's worth fighting for?

When it's not worth dying for?

Does it take your breath away

And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?

And you look for a place to hide?

Did someone break your heart inside?

You're in ruins

One, 21 guns

Lay down your arms, give up the fight

One, 21 guns

Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road

And you lost all sense of control

And your thoughts have taken their toll

When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass

And the hangover doesn't pass

Nothing's ever built to last

You're in ruins

One, 21 guns

Lay down your arms, give up the fight

One, 21 guns

Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own

When you burned down the house and home?

Did you stand too close to the fire

Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die

And you can't get another try

Something inside this heart has died

You're in ruins

One, 21 guns

Lay down your arms, give up the fight

One, 21 guns

Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns

Lay down your arms, give up the fight

One, 21 guns

Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

disappointed

very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very disappointed!!!!

but ice cannot cry there! i should be tough enough! even i am not really tough! i had to act like that!
i could feel how pain my heart is! but nobody could feel how sad i am!

DISAPPOINTED!!

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如果你不是真心，就不要闯进我的世界

a note shared by jezzonefly on facebook...

我可以
一个人吃饭；
一个人睡觉；
一个人逛街；
一个人游戏；
一个人上班；
一个人回家；
一个人发呆；
一个人思考；
一个人欣赏路过的风景；
一个人遗憾错过的精彩；
一个人读着别人的故事；
一个人打发无聊的时间；
一个人赶走寂寞的侵袭；
一个人抵挡北风的严寒；
一个人在跌倒后站起来拍拍身上的灰尘；
一个人在受伤后躲起来默默治疗心的创伤；
一个人在繁华的都市里找回迷失的自己；
一个人在残酷的现实里伪装保护着自己.........

......

所以

如果你不是真心，就不要轻易插足我的旅程，我很容易感动， 很容易满足，也许你不经意对我的好我都会一直记得，也许会因 为你不在意的举动会伤心很久；

如果你不是真心，就不要轻易进入我的世界，我不会坚强，不 会防备，你说的每句话我都会相信，我能给你的就是绝对的信 任；

如果你不是真心，就不要轻易跨进我的国度，我会固执，会小 气，
我很珍惜每个进来的人，就算碰得头破血流我也不会轻易放手， 我不想留给自己太多遗憾...... 等待那个人我投入的会是我全部的真心....

a song to mom

dedicated my il divo's song to a special one..

il divo's mama..

to my mom, an angel of earth.. ♥ ♥ ♥



Mama, thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love, you sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed along the way [along the way]

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, yeah I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong, Dry your eyes [dry your eyes]

Cause I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, I miss you

Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed along the way [along the way]

Cause I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

congratulation!!

sharp 8a.m in the morning..
unexpected call received..

it's from a satan! yea! satan vincent called!
he's spreading the good news to me!
made my mood turn good!

so happy that he still remember what he promised!

so proud of him that he can passed all the difficult tests & now he is with the title of Dr.

well done guy!!

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委屈

是该认真考虑继续下去的可能性了。

当身边的朋友一直在努力打毒针的时候，我还会帮他们讲话，说，其实他们对我都不错的，只是在某件事上的看法不同而已，他们有时候也是蛮疼我的嘛～


一心想着，呆在那里，我可以学到很多东西，因为什么东西都是我自己一手包办的，是很忙啊，可是，那是我喜欢的东西。大家都说，我们如果从那里出来的话，在其它地方一定可以生存得到，因为，那里不只有‘魔鬼式的训练’，我们还得遇上‘宫心计’的陷害。

我一直认为，就像大多数的事情一样，只要找几个朋友聊聊，mumble，发泄过后就没事了，可是，原来根本就不是那么一回事。
联盛说，早就跟我说了！是啊，是我一意孤行，我该听他们的。

为什么我那么固执？当初没有心软的话，我不会这样让妈妈担心，心疼。
是的，我对不起妈妈，时常要她为这个懦弱的女儿操心。

现在，因为那通电话，觉得委屈了又怎样，这是我自己拿来的。告诉自己，这是最后一次为这种事哭。是时候做些什么了！

哭过就好了！就算再喜欢那些工作，也不要再催眠自己他们有多好了！当不久前，爱丽丝决定用晓凌的面目来见人的时候，那块沉睡的冰块也该醒了！

when ALLICE is no longer Adorable, no longer Lovely & no longer Lâche, there's time for ICE!

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message

just reached home at 10 in the morning.
sign in my facebook, and saw a message from my love one.
she said she felt that she should send me that message and told me lots of her thinking/opinion.

tears drop after read the message.
she said something that i could not deny, the cruel truth that i never want to face.
i admit that i am little chicken.

dear, i know what you mean. sure i will accept what you said, and i believe that this little chicken will get her gut very soon.

you are not long-winded at all! i like to receive your long long message which show your love, your care, your concern to me, i do really appreciate.

you know what, when i saw the tag from you on the photo that day, there's only one word in my mind! ji mui! yes! not only best friend!
you really help me a lot! when you know my situation that time, you help me to solve it within 15 minutes! without me to open mouth to seek for your help! gosh! who else can treat me like this?

give me some time, and you will see what's going to happen!

i am no longer wish for the rainbow after rain, but now, learning to enjoy & dance in the rain ^.~


p/s: going back to bm next week. i believe that grandma will be very well that time when i back! :)

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手連心

放不下

一个苦者找到一个和尚倾诉他的心事。

他说：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。”
和尚说：“没有什么东西是放不下的。”
他说：“这些事和人我就偏偏放不下。”
和尚让他拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水

溢出 来。
苦者被烫到马上松开了手。
和尚说：“这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就 会放下。”

你可能觉得难过
因为无论你对他怎么好 他都不领情
他不是看不到 他只是装作看不到
或者他根本不想看到
你觉得自己很喜欢他
甚至觉得再没有一个人可以像你那么喜欢他
你用尽全力对他好
把他看的比自己还重要
有什么事情第一个就想到他
联系不到他的时候　你担心他担心的快疯了
然而你有没有想过
这并不在你的责任范围
而且很有可能他是在躲着你
他受不了你对他那么好
不要一直发短信给他
不要一直找他
你也许只是想找他说说话
你觉得那很正常　不算苛求
但是也许他并不这么想
记住　你的想法不代表他的想法
你是真的不求回报的才喜欢他吗
你扪心自问一下
你确定不用他回报什么吗
那为什么你会难过
若是真的一无所求
你又怎么会觉得难过呢
所以　别觉得你那么爱他是伟大的
也许她根本不在乎你怎么为他付出
有时候你给他的爱或许是种负担
这种负担只会让他更加想远离你
因为他不想亏欠你
别事事为他担心为他张罗
你觉得他没有你不行
你觉得别人做不到你那么完善
但是你要清楚
你不是他要的那个人
你做的再完善也敌不过人家不做
那个位置本来就不是你的
你何必硬要挤上去呢
你说道理你都懂　只是你做不好
喜欢他不是你的错
想关心他不是你的错
控制不住自己不是你的错
但是那是你的方式
人家不一定就能接受你这种所谓无私的爱
所以如果你喜欢他　他不喜欢你
那么就请你默默的
别试图让他知道
就算你会难过　甚至难过的流泪
就请你默默的
就算是逼自己也好
一定要忍着
傻孩子．
忘了吧．所有你留恋的．你回忆的．你拥有过的．
那些．都已是记忆．
缺失并不可怕．
可怕的．是无法面对．

傻孩子．
你无法轻易忘记放弃．是因为你付出过．
付出了．她就会像柱子一样扎根在心．
不要刻意去逃避．刻意忘记．那只会让你更痛苦．
绕开这个柱子．寻找未来的幸福生活吧．
那里．有你的理想．

傻孩子．
开始新的习惯吧．
习惯．每天一个人生活．
习惯．一个人过生日．一个人行走．
习惯．走过熟悉的路．面对熟悉的景．
你逃不掉．逃不掉的．
那么．就勇敢面对．现实．
现实是．一切．画上了句点．

傻孩子．
勇敢看着镜子中的自己吧．
这个悲伤软弱满面憔悴的自己．
这也是你．成长中的你．
这个你．正在逐渐死去．
新的你．即将重生．
找寻你的路．你的未来．
你知道的．所有的浩劫．都是成长的祭奠．
做最好的自己．即使．一个人．

傻孩子．
好．好．尽情发泄吧．
剥开自己的心．用文字．用声音．用所有能发泄的方式．
泄完了．就要振作．
看吧．你失去的．其实微不足道．
还有那么多人关心着你．以不同的方式．
所以．你并不孤独．
正是这样的失去．让你看清现在所拥有的幸福．

傻孩子．
别哭．别再哭．
不值得．真的．不值得了．
把过去尘封吧．别委屈．别不甘心．别不接受．
开始新的旅程吧．去遇见新的风景．新的际遇．
做你该做的事吧．有很多事．等待着你完成呢．

傻孩子．
生活褪去了曾有的颜色．暂时宁静．
别沉沦在这片宁静里．那会毁掉你．
你要明白．虽然残忍．但这个决定．足够正确．
现在的生活．不是你想要的．
为了你的理想．你必须学会适时放弃．
给对方最好的关怀．就是．变的更好．更强大．更幸福．
现在我对你很好、很好、很好，你不需要、你无所谓、你不在 乎，你不珍惜。。。。
当某天，你被伤害，想起我。那时的我再也做不到像现在这样一 如既往、不顾一切的对你好了。。。
因为那时的我，已经将你放下。。。。
原来，放下一个人，最后是被对方逼出来的。。。

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so sick

cant stop coughing in the meeting last night.

finished meeting and reached home at 11p.m. something. Sandra was the one who send me home last night because Penny had to finished her things downstairs and won't back so early.
i was very suffer in Sandra's car. tried not to breath so that i won't cough inside her car, because there are 3 beauty managers sitting in the car, i did not want my virus to spread to them as they need to 'fight' during the weekends.
once i got out from the car, released, cough again. then the security guard asked me, 'sakit ar?' haha..

vincent msn me asking me something and then read my status message in msn, asked me to go to buy serup. i told him that i went to see doctor and the doctor gave me pills, but he said pills cant help much.
i listed down all the pills that doctor gave me, and found that the pills doctor gave me is.. damn!!
you know what, vincent said:

...anyway ur dr. is just a stupid rich guy
dont go to him anymore
just go pharmacy n buy the drug

i give u a prescription....

and he asked me to write down what i should buy from pharmacy today, and also, asked me to go to sleep =.=

that was the second time i visit the clinic at boulevard there. if you wanna ask my feedback on the first visit, i can definitely tell you that, i do not like the doctor, her way of treating patient and her attitude.. then i prefer to go to clinic which is not in our panel list, but, seems like it could be a big issue as my superior pulled me to starbucks and told me something..
actually, i don't care about the claim, i never think of wanna claim back the money, and, i don't mind to deduct my unpaid leave as i have no more annual leave to take. i just want to seek doctor advice or get the drug so that i won't suffer from the pain. (i was having a serious gastric that time)
hence, few days ago, when i suffer from running nose, sore throat and cough, when colleagues said that nowadays many virus attacked, asked me don't spread the virus in the office, and i decided to go to mid valley clinic.

i do not want to go boulevard clinic anymore because of my previous experience and tomoko's case. tomoko had to admitted to hospital immediately that time, but when she went to the clinic for checking, the doctor said that's nothing, even blood test also no need. luckily tomoko insist want to do the blood test. and, they don't even bother anymore. they told her that the result will come out at 6pm, but she wait until 8pm they still not yet tell her the result, when she called back and asked, they only checked. and called back to ask her to admitted to hospital immediately!! damn terrible right?

i thought i can go to the clinic inside mid valley megamall, but then Penny said the priority given is the boulevard one, she asked me to go to the boulevard clinic.

these are the pills i take for these few days:

• cloperastine HCI
• loratadine
• chlorpheniramine
• paracetamol

stupid me almost finish the pills, yes, almost, i left 1 each now!! and no any 'improvement'!! and vincent asked if i had fever because the doctor gave me paracetamol! WTH!! i still remember sky did tell me that the active in paracetamol is not really 'accurate' in each pill, and he asked me not to take it if not necessary.. but WTH stupid (oh no! not stupid! i'm the stupid one!) the smart clever doctor asked me to take 2 pills with the contains of 1000mg each!
i will never NEVER go to the clinic anymore!! the clinic at boulevard!! blacklisted!!

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