i LL

I'm having unhealthy life physically and mentally. Understand that it might spoiled my both physical health and mental health, as well as my marriage life. I'm so lost, i know, but i cant find a way out.

Post natal depression? Maybe.

I cant tune back to who i was, or i spend too much of my concentration to my baby ray until i was said too protective.

He is my everything now. I love him. I want him to be good. I have no experience taking care or growing up a baby boy, but i try what i feel good for him. I dont care if people say i am monster parent as long as i give my best to my rayray.

I know we are so lucky that everyone loves ray. Each of us has our own way to love him. I have no rights to control the loves others share to him, cannot control the way of how they share their loves.

I am so angry with my hubby, and i believe that he does the same on me too. I was once thinking of divorce and bring my baby ray escape from this place. It's unfair to my hubby i know. I still love him but i'm sorry to him. This is only way he no need to be sandwiches which he hate most.

Tears just drop like rain, anytime it likes. I hate myself. I wanna find a way out. I wanna escape from this crazy moment. I wanna be a better me. How to recover myself from this suffering period????