the divorce

2 months ago, i made a decision to divorce.
some of my friends asked me to think properly while most of my friends congratulated me once they heard the news. they know that i made the decision not because of impulse.

few month ago before chinese new year, i already had an 'arguement' with jim when i said that i don't want to work here anymore. he said that i am impulsive, but i denied. i am not!!

although i know that this is the job that i loved, although i know most of the people here are good, but i don't know since when, i felt that many things had changed, changed until the fear overtake my passion.

i don't know when should i believe someone's words and don't know who should i believe. i know that i should protect myself by not to believe what they said, this is what yoshi always tell me, don't believe anyone, as you will get hurt. i really so scared of getting hurt. i can't forget the time when aiwa came to office and talked those things to my manager! wtf! she was my friend, but what she did! how can she did this to me!! i thought friend is a person we should appreciate but not betray!

anyhow, i have lots of good friends beside me during the time i face difficulty. thanks guys who always accompany me, be there with me, and help me. you guys are deeply appreciated always. i won't forget how kind you guys treat me as a FRIEND, real friend, especially my buddies and sistas..

mmm... talk back to the divorce.

i met back alvin during the farewell for zen. he told me how he's doing now, and encourage me to do what i want. that is my future, my life! i should not be influenced by others.

then, i found my way out. i plan on doing something, but i did not tell anyone except sky. and accidentally told my manager when she asked me just now. she said that i can do it as a part-time and i can continue what i am doing now. she just felt that's a waste if i give up what i've built up during this 2 years. and asked me to reconsider.

i know that i can get a good opportunity here, i know that i still have lots of things to learn here, i know that i have good bosses and superior here, i know all these...i do really know...

but... should i really need to reconsider whether or not i want to divorce?

allice tan